Our state moved in to Phase 3 of our reopening last Friday, which allows outdoor dining at restaurants. Driving around Friday, and seeing all the restaurants that had added huge tents to their parking lots to have outdoor seating gutted me. I was sad they had to add that extra expense on top of everything else to be able to serve people, and I was sad to see one completely empty (I hope it’s just because it was early for dinner). I hope the tents are a good investment, that the restaurants are supported by their customers, and that we have good weather so they can continue to serve people outside.
(I completely agree with the outdoor seating only in restaurants rule – seeing the physical representation of it was shocking though.)
As part of Phase 3, gatherings in groups of up to ten people are allowed. Steven and I are not gathering in groups yet – we want to see how things go this month before we do. I also want to stay healthy for seeing my family in late July – I’d hate to inadvertently pass something along to an at-risk family member. We aren’t fearful, but we are cautious.
All that being said, I am open to distanced outdoor workouts with one other person who’s been socially distancing, and had a walk date on Monday and have a run date this Saturday. It feels so strange to have an appointment on my calendar that requires leaving the house. It still feels wrong to do so. And it really makes me anxious, like “how much time does it take me to get ready to leave?” and “do I really want to leave?” and “will being around another personal physically exhaust me for the rest of the day?”
Monday’s walk
(The answer to the last question is no – it’s so exciting to see and talk to someone else! It energizes me. But gosh, I drug stories out before this, and now I really do. Sorry, friends.)
This is a good article – “How to have a judgment-free conversation about seeing friends again” (pdf here). The note about following social distancing behaviors signaling “moral superiority” really stuck out to me. I can totally see that happening, when really, everyone just has different comfort levels and priorities.
These conversations are particularly difficult because social distancing behaviors — wearing a mask, staying six feet apart, not meeting up at all — signal “moral superiority,” said Paul Conway, a professor of psychology at Florida State University, who studies moral responsibility. By tolerating the inconveniences of social distancing, he says, you’re publicly demonstrating that you care about the health and well-being of the people around you. If you choose to wear a mask and your friend doesn’t, Conway says, the friend might get defensive or resentful, worried you might be judging them for not being more careful.
The article advises talking openly about what you are comfortable with, then designing an environment for a meetup that meets those parameters. And talking about it in a way that doesn’t say one person is doing something wrong for wanting something else. They aren’t. We all have different comfort levels. Mine right now is one-on-one, outside, with friends who’ve been able to stay isolated at home too. I did feel totally awkward asking my Saturday date it they minded I had a Monday date, but I wanted them to know! I want to be conscientious! Ugh this is so strange.
We aren’t home that much more than we were before all this, but somehow, Khali is way more comfortable around both of us! She’s less likely to run away when we come near, and more likely to let us pick her up.
Speaking of Khali, poor thing has suffered the COVID-19 weight gain due to her idiot mother giving her too many table scraps. That has (mostly!) stopped. Only ONE bite of BURGUR instead of many.
She’s so hungry she’s eating shoes!
My masseuse reached out and said she’s reopening this month, and told me the new rules for getting a massage (like wearing a mask). I made an appointment for the end of the month. My body needs a massage so bad and I hope I feel comfortable enough to keep the appointment (that’s is why I made it so far out). I am still not making hair or nails appointments. (But Anne gave me a tip about ordering the Aveda leave-in conditioner I used and it arrived this week and my hair feels so much better!)
I love sending cards to people, and I had a decent stock, but for some instances I prefer to pick out something special for that person, rather than choose from my stock. That’s been hard to do during our stay-at-home order, since the main place I go is Aldi. Aldi has cards (and I buy them!) but they are generic. So last week I ordered some cards from Minted (and they arrived this week, yay!), and this week, I sent some via Postable, which my snis recommended to me (and is where she made the hilarious card below).
Ugh, my driver’s license expires at the end of July. The DMV just reopened here this week and I have heard the lines are insane. Maybe it will die down after a month…
Now that I’ve been opening up my life a little more (seeing my mom, brother, and nephews, mostly), it does feel weird to emerge from this period of isolation to SEE PEOPLE. And interact face-to-face! And make plans!
I probably need to read that pdf because I get REAL judgmental about friends not wearing masks in public. It’s the easiest thing to do! And yet.
Ugh, that pic of you and Khali is toooooo cute! Lila has gotten better about letting me pick her up (and by that I mean I can hold her for about 15 seconds before the claws come out), but we had a traumatic experience on Sunday when I tried to give her topical flea treatment and she’s still trying to forgive me, wah.
I’ve been going back and forth on getting a massage. I really want one (I need one, honestly) and my massage place has a page on their site about the safety protocols they are implementing, so it *should* be fine, but ugh, it makes me a little nervous. Our cases aren’t going down AT ALL and we’re closing in on 3k deaths so I just don’t know when I’ll be comfortable getting a massage.
It feels so odd! I feel kind of overwhelmed by it, like I am not ready to leave my free time cocoon. I want to see people of course, it just feels… so strange.
Unfortunately the article doesn’t have any advice for that beyond understanding that everyone is doing what works for them. But you can tell friends you won’t meet up if they don’t have a mask on if you want 😉
Thanks! Oh no! What happened when you tried to give it to Lila? She freaked the eff out?
You really have to listen to your gut with the massage since it will be another human touching you! And if things aren’t going down there at all, I’d be concerned too. (That is why I made my appointment so late out – in case things go nuts here.)
Thanks for sharing that article – it was very informative and thoughtful! I agree that everybody’s comfort level with social interactions is going to be different and it’s good advice to just talk about it openly.
I think if your massage therapist takes the proper measures, it should be pretty safe to get one, if you both wear masks.
You’re welcome! And yes – I hope people do talk about it openly! It feels weird but this is new for all of us!
We will both be wearing masks for sure 🙂 And I trust her!
We are of the same mindset as you and Steven regarding not jumping back into things; waiting to see how it goes makes us feel safer. Also, our community has had a noticeable uptick in cases since Texas started reopening which…yeah. We’ll continue our social distancing. I haven’t read that article yet but I can see some issues with our group already – several of us are not ready to get together, even supposedly doing the 6 feet thing, and it’s bringing up some moral superiority, although I didn’t have the correct phrase until your post today. It’s a conundrum, isn’t it?
Also, we aren’t going to restaurants. Period. I’ve seen pictures of dining rooms (yes we can eat inside) and while tables are roped off, so to speak, to encourage social distancing, it’s still too close for comfort. Which is too bad because I miss going out to eat!
So even cats can gain the Covid pounds…I’m laughing but not laughing. We all have trouble with that, Khali!
Ugh, I am sorry you have seen an uptick! We haven’t peaked yet in our county – it’s still rising. But the data is so confusing – is that just because they are testing more people now? Or are there more cases? I don’t know!
Yeah, I needed the phrase moral superiority to understand my feelings too. I hope the people in your group are being kind and considerate of one another. You all desperately want to see each other, but each person has a unique situation!
It blows my mind to see those pics since we still have outdoor seating only here! Across the border in WI you can eat inside, and yeah, pickup only for us!
Hee hee. She can truly blame it on me since I control her food!!!
We are not doing any get-togethers until we get through June either. Better safe than sorry especially since I think we’re rushing into phase 3 too quickly. But our unwillingness to get together is ticking my mom off. But it’s not her choice. Oh well.
Phase 3 felt sudden to me, too. I wonder if it’s just cause I am so used to things being closed!
Gah, sorry it’s causing strife in your family. I hope she is being considerate :-/
I have a gathering to go to on Sunday, and I am beyond uncomfortable with it. Someone in the family is turning 10, and apparently having a dozen people in person there to celebrate is more important than anyone’s health. The birthday girl’s family lives in an area so rural, I’m confident saying it would make your house feel urban, even having never seen your house or surrounding area in real life, haha. They are absolutely in the freaking middle of nowhere, so they barely have human interaction in non-pandemic times, never mind now. But I have no clue what everyone else who plans to attend has been up to. Some of them live in Wisconsin, and I know a good portion of them…do not see the world the same way I see it, to be gentle about it, and it would not surprise me in the LEAST if they were part of the groups of people out and about the second Phase 3 hit Illinois or phase whatever hit Wisconsin. It’s all really stressful. Our plan is to go, wear masks the whole time, never go in the house, stay as far away from everyone as humanly possible, not touch anyone, and not eat any of the food offered unless there are obvious markers that it’s not communal (like pre-packaging, or us taking our own burgers directly off the grill and not eating them with buns). But still, I would just so rather not go, and am having a very difficult time wrapping my head around why one birthday is worth this risk, when everyone with a birthday between mid-March and last week, even people with milestone birthdays, seemed to survive just fine without a gigantic gathering. It would be one thing if it was MY family, but it’s not, so I don’t feel comfortable putting my foot down and saying no. Blah. I feel like so many people are approaching the pandemic and their response to it based on how it makes them feel rather than actual scientific guidance, and that really frustrates me.
With how uncomfortable you are, it really sounds like you should not go! Even though it’s not your family, your spouse should support you… or go without you 🙁 I wonder if they are really wanting to get together and using this birthday as a reason to. And if they are in Wisconsin, they are not being told to gather in groups of 10 or less like us. And yeah, it does seem like some just want to get back to things being more convenient and don’t think about how it might affect them or others long term 🙁
We just started allowing outdoor eating at restaurants in my county too. I hope it goes well for the restaurants but we’re still staying in for now too. I am thinking about meeting up with a friend for an outdoor walk soon though.
Yes! I hope it goes well for every place reopening under their state’s orders. I feel so bad for these businesses 🙁
Oh fun! You are going to have a great time. I did two walks with a friend this week and loved it!
Re-opening comes with so many emotions for me, and it sounds like you’re in the same boat. I’m glad your outside workouts are energizing for you.
What do you think you’ll need to know to feel comfortable going though with your appointment? Have you set any benchmark for it yet?
I am going to keep an eye on the cases going down in Lake County to help with my decision. We still haven’t meet our peak yet, I think since they are testing way more now. So it keeps going up. Less deaths though.