Day One of Operation “Appear Awake at Work” is off to a rocky start.*
Can you even tell I have makeup on in this photo?!
I am probably setting myself up for failure by trying to wake up so early. Last night was one of those nights where the bed felt perfect and I instantly fell asleep. And I didn’t wake up once!** Not until this morning, when Steven was rubbing my arm (and I was thinking, “What’s he up to?!” Winky Wink.) then said, “Are you going to get up?” It was 4:05. My alarm had gone off at 4:00, and I hadn’t even realized it… yet had somehow managed to turn it off. Weird. Good thing he woke me up!
This weekend was so relaxing. I don’t recall the last time I’ve felt so relaxed. I got a full nine hours of sleep on both Friday and Saturday night, and felt refreshed and energetic all day Saturday and Sunday. It was really weird not to feel tired and crash and the middle of the day like I normally do.
It sure would be great to get that much sleep every night.
I had to wake up earlier this morning so I can make it to an evening appointment with my therapist (Yay flexible work hours!). I think it’s been a month since I last saw her. I canceled my last appointment because I didn’t feel like I had made much progress. And I didn’t feel like sitting there, complaining about the same old issues. It would just make me feel worse for, well, not having made any progress on the same old issues!***
It’s so weird to sit and talk to someone for an hour about how you feel and not have to ask them anything AT ALL. When I am talking to someone, I am naturally conscious of how much I am talking in comparison to them, if I am interrupting them, and if they look bored. Well, talking to a therapist throws all of that out the window. I can just go on and on about whatever I want, and they have to listen. Yippee!
The only problem is that I enjoy bitching to my therapist so much that I have a hard time remembering what she says. She has a lot of good feedback, ideas and analogies, but she tells me so much that I can’t remember it all. An hour is a long time! Maybe I should bring a notepad.
*I’ve decided it’s time to start putting some effort into my appearance again. I am sick of the “you look so tired” comments. I am tired, DAMMIT!
**I’ve been having issues with waking up often in the night, so this is awesome.
***I doubt some issues EVER go away.
Sometimes it takes a bit of therapy before youg et the “A ha” moment but at least youa re getting your thoughts out. A notebook may be a good idea.
I get the “you look tired” comments too but that is because I am. Our cat had decided that 2-4 am is play time…at least for the past two weeks.
I think this is why I have been sort of enjoying my time off of running/exercising…I am sleeping at least an hour later than normal and am feeling so good because of that that I fear it will be really difficult to get back into a routine of getting up super early again. It just feels so good to be well rested that I’m not sure I care about running enough to go back to it. (I will, I know I will, but just thinking about it makes me tired right now!)
I have not found a therapist I like around here (what does that say about me????) Is yours in our area? Can I get the name/phone number if it is?
.-= Author’s last blog post… Blindly Accepting Things =-.
Sweets and I discussed “more sleep” over the weekend. And, so long as you can get into a habit of getting it more often, it’s great. But, the one night where I got waaaay more sleep than I usually do on a weeknight turned into a morning of hell for me. I just couldn’t wake up. Maybe that’s also because I wanted the weekend to last a tad bit longer. =)
All this time off and I was still tired when I got home today. Blah. :p
Remember, your therapist isn’t grading you! If you don’t feel like you’ve made any progress since the previous week, she might have some insights, or it might just feel good to bitch about the same thing again! Ha ha. I am glad you feel comfortable talking to her.
Sleep is wonderful. I’ve been getting loads of it on my vacation week. Hope this trend continues!
I think it’s good that therapy allows us to talk at someone without those social obligations of etiquette. I tend to consider if other people want to talk or ask them questions all the time too. It’s polite. But sometimes we have to make it all about US.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Sure Hope You Mean It =-.
Good face! You radiate awakeness. 🙂
.-= Author’s last blog post… 12+8=20! =-.
I feel like that all the time in regards to my therapist. I can never remember what he says! When I mentioned to him that I should bring a note pad he sort of poo-pooed the idea. I usually go every Saturday but I don’t mind missing a week. Sometimes I just don’t know what to talk about.
I think you look beautiful – and I have a co-worker that says, nearly daily “Oh, you look SOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo tired!” and I wonder if that’s code for, “You look like shit?” – – I’m not sure why she feels the need to repeat this.
.-= Author’s last blog post… I asked my hubz if he would buy me this. =-.
i died a little inside at the 4am wakeup. EEK!!
.-= Author’s last blog post… like any of you didn’t know about the pole dancing already.. =-.
Yuck, 4am is so early it’s no wonder you’re tired!
.-= Author’s last blog post… Some doggie love =-.
Ahh therapy, we all need it, but only some of us get it hehe!
I think the notebook is a great idea, I always forget things I am told, and that would be a great way to keep track and be able to look back on things!
.-= Author’s last blog post… Amarin Thai & Sibling Bonding =-.
I know the lack of sleep and how it can make you feel “Blah” most of the day. There are some nights when I can’t turn my head off.
I normally will listen to a podcast on my iPod and fall asleep and go from 11pm till around 6ish. But some nights, I wake up hour on the hour. The next morning I am useless and cranky. Most of it is too much on my mind.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Trust Me On This One =-.