Devastated

About two weeks ago my mother-in-law, Linda, went to the hospital because she had flu-like symptoms. It turned out she had a bad infection. The doctors took care of her for several days and she was about ready to leave, when she had an unrelated major heart attack on Thursday August 26th.

Her brain was oxygen deprived for too long during the attack. She passed away on Saturday the 4th.

She was only 62.

Steven flew down to Kansas City on Thursday the 26th, and I drove down on Friday the 27th. We spent most of our time in the hospital – at first occasionally leaving for meals and to sleep, and then staying in the hospital and only leaving for the occasional shower and to pick up food.

We’re all completely shocked by what happened, and obviously, completely heartbroken. Words cannot describe the pain we feel, but “devastated” comes pretty close.

For me, besides being completely worried about Steven’s dad, Steven, and his brother, I feel so so saddened by the family friends and coworkers who came in to visit Linda. They told so many wonderful stories about how passionate, helpful and giving Linda was. It was obvious they were in pain that she would no longer be a part of their life… and it became obvious to me that I still needed to get to know my mother-in-law a lot better.

That opportunity is mostly gone now. She’ll just relive through the stories shared.


There is a lot more I would like to add, but right now, I am just so filled with sadness, there is not much else I can say. I feel kind of lost, and am having a hard time making decisions and thinking straight.

Training Week 46

My next race is the Chicago Half Marathon on September 12. I am also training for the Chicago Marathon on October 10.

Day 316 | August 30, 2010: yoga

I did the YogaWorks 45-min Beginners DVD – and my neck was sore again. I need to work on that! I also think it may be time to start doing one of the “harder” yoga DVDs again. Maybe.

Day 317 | August 31, 2010: 6 m run

This 6-miler felt a little bit harder than it should. I think I just started off too fast. I had to stop and and take a few quick breaks. But, the sky was overcast, it was raining a bit, and my knee only had a slight ache, so that was nice. Oh, and I only drank 8 ounces of water. What the heck?

I ran the same back and forth one-mile course behind Steven’s parent’s house that I did last Sunday. It varies enough that I didn’t mind going back and forth. The only annoying part is getting to the end and doing a 180 to turn around – I really slow down on those, to protect my knees.

Distance: 6.0 | Start Temp: 83° | End Temp: 85° | Time: 59:21 | Avg Pace: 9:53 | 1: 9:36 | 2: 9:48 | 3: 10:06 | 4: 10:15 | 5: 9:57 | 6: 9:34

Day 318 | September 1, 2010: rest

Day 319 | September 2, 2010: rest

Day 320 | September 3, 2010: rest

Day 321 | September 4, 2010: rest

Day 322 | September 5, 2010: rest

Week Summary: 6.00 miles

I had other priorities and was unable to exercise the last 5 days of this week. Hopefully, that will mean my legs are well rested!

I was supposed to run 18 miles on Saturday or Sunday and did not. I was thinking about running them on Monday the 6th, even though I have a half marathon on Sunday the 12th. My logic is that I sometimes run long on Sundays then the following Saturday – this is basically the same time frame.

What would you do – run the 18-miler on Monday and a half the following Sunday? Or skip the 18-miler?

ViewSPORT Shirt and Watch Giveaway Winners

The winner of the I am the Competition ViewSPORT shirt is Amanda (Vegacious).

The winner of the white ViewSPORT watch is Kandi (Kandi Land).

Congratulations! Please email me your mailing addresses and I will ship the items your way.

Thank you to everyone who participated, and a big thanks to ViewSPORT for sponsoring the giveaway! I heard they are going to be designing some new shirts so make sure to check out their website!

I’ve been wearing my ViewSPORT watch all week. It’s nice and lightweight. And it comes in a cute little container!

I’ve even been wearing it with the Garmin while running, so I don’t have to use the Garmin to see what time it is. Ha ha.

Do you wear a watch when you exercise? What kind of stats do you keep – distance, time, pace, heart rate? Nothing?

Three Years!

Today is our three year wedding anniversary!

It amazes me how much our love and relationship has grown in just this short amount of time. I thought I knew Steven really well when we got married, but as we have gone through some of life’s hardships and joys together, I have discovered even more about the amazing person he is. That’s pretty cheesy, but it’s the truth.

Aww.

  • Photos of the wedding here
  • Photo slideshow here
  • Awesome photographer’s website here
  • Special wedding song here

Friday Question #81

What reality show/game show do you want to be on?

image:what not to wear

Definitely TLC’s What Not to Wear. Whenever I happen to catch that show, I always wonder what they would make me throw out of my closet. I do hold on to all of my race shirts, but I only wear them for exercise and sleeping in. I try not to wear too many t-shirts. But, my work wardrobe is admittedly plain – nice slacks and a blouse every day.

And I would LOVE to do a shopping spree in NYC! And to get a hair and make-up makeover. I am so lost with my hair… I don’t know how to style it. I am doomed to be a frizzy fluffy head.

Maybe Steven should enter me as a contestant. He keeps asking me to enter him on Overhaulin’

Friday Question #79

What’s your reaction when you receive a compliment?

It makes me crazy when I compliment someone and they brush if off/dismiss it/deny it/dispute it. You know, “Oh, I really don’t like that feature about myself,” “I hate this top,” “I look so fat in this,” etc. Look – I’m not trying to kiss your ass by giving you a compliment. I genuinely noticed something I liked about you, and wanted to let you know.

Anyway, because of this, I am super conscious of how I receive compliments, and have noticed a little habit I have. When someone compliments me (specifically on an article of clothing/accessory, not a characteristic), I tell them a little detail about what they are complimenting me on.

I like your shoes, Kim. “Thanks! I can’t remember where I got them, I just found them in my closet this morning.”*

I really like your top! “Thanks! Every time I wear it, I am really careful I don’t snag it.”**

This is such a weird thing to do… and I’ve noticed I do it all the time! I guess I am trying to make myself feel less awkward when someone compliments me.

*Actual conversation with diane.
**It’s made of lace. Actually, I am wearing it in this pic.

Steven’s Pad Siew

Steven has finally perfected his pad siew recipe (the one I mentioned here) and is ready to share it!

Required Ingredients:

Pad Siew

Required sauce ingredients (please note, that green top is NOT the top that comes on the sauce bottle – it is a wine topper someone gave us for our wedding).

Pad Siew

Our preferred brands for baby corn and water chestnuts.

  • 1 box lasagna pasta noodles (We use Barilla wavy lasagne. If you are adventurous, you can try the actual Thai noodles – good luck. That didn’t work too well for us – we don’t have a wok.)
  • 1 large carrot
  • 3  cups fresh broccoli florets (or a 16 oz bag of frozen florets) (The broccoli soaks up the sauce and tastes wonderful. Just be careful you don’t use too much or it will absorb all the sauce and make the dish bland.)
  • 8 oz. sliced water chestnuts
  • 15 oz. baby corn
  • 1 cup spinach (just grab a handful – it’s good for you and can’t ruin the dish)
  • 4 tbsp. vegetable oil (for stir frying)
  • Tofu, OR 6 eggs, OR your preferred protein (We like Morningstar Steak Strips (which are now discontinued!), and Heartline Meatless Meats.)
  • Vegetable oil for frying tofu (1/4″ – 1/2″ in a frying pan)

Sauce (double this if you are making marinated tofu):

  • 2/3 cup sweet soy sauce (We have to go to a special part of Chicago to buy the kind we use. It’s thick and syrupy. This is really what makes the dish. If you can’t find this, you can use regular sauce and add lots of sugar, but it won’t be the same.)
  • 1/3 cup Kimlan soy sauce (Any brand will work for this but Kimlan is our favorite – more flavor less salt.  Kikoman is also pretty good.)
  • 1 tbsp. garlic powder
  • 1/4 tsp. ground ginger
  • 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper (add to taste)
  • 1 tbsp. white sugar

This was Steven’s first time cooking with tofu! Can you believe it? A vegetarian and vegan who have never cooked tofu?!

Well, because of this, we don’t know much about tofu and followed the instructions here. Like I mentioned in the ingredients list above though, you can use a lot of other things instead of tofu.

Pad Siew

Extra firm tofu.

We bought the extra firm tofu (winky wink). You drain the liquid out of the tofu, put it on paper towels, and put a heavy pan filled with water on top of it to squish the water out of it. This process takes about 30 minutes, and you have to change the paper towels often, and watch the tofu to make sure it settles straight (to keep the pan from falling over).

Pad Siew

Squishing the water out of the tofu.

After you have squished all of the water out of the tofu, you cut it into the size of chunks you want (we cut ours into roughly 1-inch x 1-inch cubes). Tofu doesn’t really taste like anything, so you can fry it like it is, or marinate it. The longer you marinate it, the more flavor it absorbs. For this recipe, you marinate it for about an hour in a bowl filled with the sauce recipe x2.

Pad Siew

When you get the water boiling for the noodles, we usually put some soy sauce and crushed red pepper into the noodle water to add a bit of flavor to it (mostly just a nice aroma). It’s important that the noodles are cooked al dente, because they cook a bit longer later in the recipe.

While the pasta is boiling, you cut up all of the broccoli, chop the carrots, and open the cans of baby corn and water chestnuts. You should remove the tofu from the marinade at this point so you can use the remaining sauce (hopefully 1 cup or more!) for the main dish.

Once the pasta is ready (al dente!), you drain it, and rinse it briefly with cool water so you can handle it. You stack all of the noodles on top of one another (resist eating too many!), and cut them into three strips lengthwise, and down the middle (see below).

Pad Siew

I always want to eat the noodles at this point.

Put 4 tablespoons of oil into the empty pasta pot, and stir fry the broccoli and carrots on high heat. The trick is to keep the veggies moving around.  After a few brief minutes (you just want to sear the outside of the veggies), add the spinach and stir it around until it has shriveled up.  Finally add the baby corn, water chestnuts, the sauce, and the noodles.

Pad Siew

Stir it around to get the sauce on everything, then cover the pot with a lid.  Turn the heat down to low and cook for 20-25 minutes, stirring occasionally, to soak up all the tasty sauce. This is a good time to make Trader Joe’s egg rolls or pot stickers (which are vegan!), and scramble some eggs or fry your tofu.

Pad Siew

To fry the tofu, put about 1/4″ to 1/2″ of of oil in a pan on medium high. If the oil gets too hot, it will burn the tofu. The tofu cooks quickly, about 1 minute on each side. You need to drain the oil off of the tofu when it’s done, but paper towel seems to stick (perhaps a metal colander or frying mesh skimmer would work better).  If you are going the egg route, scramble the eggs  in a stick free skillet with a little vegetable oil (probably about 1 tablespoon), then add the scrambled eggs to the pot with the rest of the ingredients.

Pad Siew

Marinated and fried tofu. Nom de nom.

We put the dish into bowls and added the tofu on top.

The finished product!

Pad Siew

This is the kind of dish you want to make a lot of because it makes wonderful leftovers! As it sits in the fridge it just gets better and better. Perfect for taking a few bites of cold when you get home for work, or taking for lunch, then eating again for dinner (guilty of doing all three today!).

This dish takes about 1 hour to make from start to finish (not counting the tofu draining and marinating steps).

Let me know if you try it. Or if my instructions don’t make sense.

Look! A lame post about stress and commuting. Lame. Lame. Lame.

When I clicked on yahoo’s “Most Stressful Cities” article yesterday, I expected Chicago to be on the list, but I didn’t expect it to be #1! (Duh, it was last year too. I am just a bit slow. A bit.)

I think this list is kind of bullshit, but it did get me thinking about what stresses me out about living here*, and that is the COMMUTE. 50 miles and an hour and twenty minute train ride both ways to the office.

Yes, it is my choice to live far away from my office. Yes, I could move. Yes, I could (try to) get a new job. But I don’t want to. I really like the area we live in. I really like my job. If we move, it won’t be closer to Chicago. It will be to a different state.

So, I don’t really have any room to bitch. It’s my choice. I understand that. And I don’t want to move.

But jeez… am I ever worn out! How do people do this their entire life? I don’t view this as a permanent situation for me. I can’t continue to waste three hours every day in transit, and try to get by on less than six hours a night of sleep. That is TRULY bullshit.

Do you find the area you live in stressful?

I DO NOT live in Chicago. So I am aware that I cannot truly understand the stress of living in Chicago.

Felt awake, for once

Day One of Operation “Appear Awake at Work” is off to a rocky start.*

Kim is never fully awake

Can you even tell I have makeup on in this photo?!

I am probably setting myself up for failure by trying to wake up so early. Last night was one of those nights where the bed felt perfect and I instantly fell asleep. And I didn’t wake up once!** Not until this morning, when Steven was rubbing my arm (and I was thinking, “What’s he up to?!” Winky Wink.) then said, “Are you going to get up?” It was 4:05. My alarm had gone off at 4:00, and I hadn’t even realized it… yet had somehow managed to turn it off. Weird. Good thing he woke me up!

This weekend was so relaxing. I don’t recall the last time I’ve felt so relaxed. I got a full nine hours of sleep on both Friday and Saturday night, and felt refreshed and energetic all day Saturday and Sunday. It was really weird not to feel tired and crash and the middle of the day like I normally do.

It sure would be great to get that much sleep every night.

I had to wake up earlier this morning so I can make it to an evening appointment with my therapist (Yay flexible work hours!). I think it’s been a month since I last saw her. I canceled my last appointment because I didn’t feel like I had made much progress. And I didn’t feel like sitting there, complaining about the same old issues. It would just make me feel worse for, well, not having made any progress on the same old issues!***

It’s so weird to sit and talk to someone for an hour about how you feel and not have to ask them anything AT ALL. When I am talking to someone, I am naturally conscious of how much I am talking in comparison to them, if I am interrupting them, and if they look bored. Well, talking to a therapist throws all of that out the window. I can just go on and on about whatever I want, and they have to listen. Yippee!

The only problem is that I enjoy bitching to my therapist so much that I have a hard time remembering what she says. She has a lot of good feedback, ideas and analogies, but she tells me so much that I can’t remember it all. An hour is a long time! Maybe I should bring a notepad.

*I’ve decided it’s time to start putting some effort into my appearance again. I am sick of the “you look so tired” comments. I am tired, DAMMIT!
**I’ve been having issues with waking up often in the night, so this is awesome.
***I doubt some issues EVER go away.

Vegan Chocolate Cake

Yesterday while I was cutting up our vegetables and fruit (and cleaning the fridge and running to the grocery store),

Fruits and Veggies

Veggies and some fruit for the week.

Steven made a vegan chocolate cake! The same one my grandma made me for my birthday in July.

Kim's 25th Birthday Cake

Nom nom nom nom nom.

My mom got me a mixer for my birthday (can you believe I have been mixing everything by hand until now?!), so we’ve been using that for all of our baking lately.

Vegan Chocolate Cake Batter

The batter.

Batter in a bundt cake pan

Does anyone else ALWAYS think of My Big Fat Greek Wedding whenever they see a bundt cake now?

Baked Vegan Chocolate

I want to eat it now!

Vegan Chocolate Frosting

The frosting… we had a bit extra…

Vegan Chocolate Frosting on a Strawberry

So we had to be creative on how to use it! (There are still two cups in the fridge!)

Finished Vegan Chocolate Cake

The finished product!

This cake is so decadent, dense, moist, rich and PERFECT. When my grandma made it for me for my birthday, I think I ate a fourth of it in one day. I couldn’t get enough. I have never had chocolate cake this good (I don’t even really LIKE chocolate cake that much!!!). Try it if you get the craving for something AWESOME and CHOCOLATE. You can find the recipe here.

A slice of Vegan Chocolate Cake

Drooooooool…

Happy Labor Day Everyone! We stayed in town this weekend and have been taking it easy. It’s been nice!

(What would this post be without a pic of Data? He was very chill while we were working in the kitchen. He has been enjoying many long walks this weekend, followed by long naps.)

Data is so chill

Hi! I’m Kim, a 40-something-year-old living in northeastern Illinois with my husband Steven, and our cats, Khaleesi, Apollo, Starbuck, and Eddard aka Ned. My current main hobbies are running, painting rocks, flying, reading, and eating. I follow a vegan lifestyle and work in an account management role. I write about a variety of topics and consider this a “life” blog – a place I can share anything that’s on my mind. Please visit the “About” page to get a better idea of who I am! 🙂

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