Trigger Warning: cancer
I was shocked and devastated last week when my favorite podcaster, Ali Feller, announced she has breast cancer. I listened to her “Life Update” podcast and had a very somber walk that morning (here is her Instagram announcement and an update). Ali has bilateral invasive ductal carcinoma and is going to have surgery in July and chemo after. I think she said it’s stage 1 and very treatable, but still, absolutely terrifying.
I do not, in any way, understand what Ali is going through, but someone I love very much recently went through this, and (I’m sure as so many of you know) it’s just f*cking horrible.
Even though I only have a parasocial relationship with Ali, I really wanted to do something to help. I’ve been listening to and following her for years, and yes, she does feel like a friend.
So I was grateful to see there is a GoFundMe set up for her yesterday. Her podcast is her job and she’ll have to take time off (and lose income) and from what I understand, she already has crazy medical bills coming in. I donated a little to it.
When I first looked at it, the goal was at $35,000 and $25,510 was raised. It made me feel so good to see so many of her parasocial friends supporting her!
Then the next time I checked it was $41,605 out of $35,000! Wow!
Then I checked hours later, and it had been raised to a goal of $75,000 with $75,994 raised. Amazing!
And when I checked before posting this, it was at $99,649.
I’m not sure what to make of this feeling, but seeing so many people support her makes me feel a little better about this horrible news (like it matters how I feel). Money can’t cure problems, but hopefully now that will be something to stress a little less about during this sh*tty journey.
Ali said in an Instagram story her biggest hesitation about doing a GoFundMe was being able to adequately thank people for their support, and that she’ll spend the rest of her life feeling so grateful for the incomprehensible support of her community. And “for as many ways as I’ve been delt a sh*tty hand lately I also feel like the luckiest woman alive.”
She has built this amazing community, and they are just giving the love back to her, and it feels so good to see people come together like this.
Oh, I was so shocked about Ali’s news and felt the same way as you do. While we don’t have a bidirectional friendship, I have been following her blog (when she still wrote more) and IG for such a long time that I do feel like I “know” her… and I love how this community is coming together to support her through this terrible time.
There are obviously thousands of us who feel this way and I am so glad everyone is coming together! Are you in the FB group? I used to be, but left it, because I don’t care for FB (Nothing to do with the group).
Team Ali! Cancer picked the wrong girl to f with. There has never been anyone who was so deserving of a GoFundMe, so I’m glad that she’s approaching $100k.
YES!!!! I am so glad you know her and are part of the community!!! It’s almost $108K now!
I don’t know Ali but I do understand this parasocial relationship SO WELL. Like, Knox and Jamie and Erin are my BFFs for liiiiife. I would be devastated to hear this news from these people I have those relationships with. I’m so glad her community is coming together to support her!
As you know, my friend Mikaela’s daughter was diagnosed with cancer and she raised almost $40K for her treatment, and being able to pay for all of her treatment and scans with that money really, really helped. It goes a long way to easy one of the burdens of cancer treatment. <3
You totally get it! I would feel that way about them too. These people are in our ear (and socials!) and we care about them!
And thanks for sharing that, because I like to think it helps but didn’t really “know.” <3
This is so true. I don’t follow Ali – but it sounds like maybe I should, if you and San both enjoy her posts. I’m glad to hear that she is getting support – financial and long-distance emotional. Of course her followers care about her – she is sharing parts of her life with them! I think this is why it’s so devastating to followers when they find out that, for example, someone they follow has not been genuine.
I definitely recommend her podcast if you are interested in running. And that is what I love about her – she does seem completely genuine.