I visited the doctor yesterday for a myriad of issues. Her diagnosis? Your metabolism is all messed up and your body is confused. So try this for awhile and tell me how it goes.

Gee, thanks.

Okay, okay, what more did I expect? Some sort of miracle solution? She couldn’t give me that.

I’ve just been so IMPATIENT lately. I want to know NOW if something is going to work. But that’s impossible. She doesn’t think my metabolism will stabilize until my body weight stabilizes… which I told her may take awhile since my body is so “confused,” and I am kind of letting it do its own thing. So I must continue to wait.

I was thinking about my anxiety during my awesome run outside last night. I was trying to focus on why I’ve been so anxious. I was trying to get to the root of it all. But I can’t for some reason. I have a hard time even thinking about it. Part of me just says, “go back to the doctor and ask her for anxiety medication like you used to take.” But I really don’t want to do that. I want to keep trying on my own. I have an inner dialogue going on constantly telling myself to calm down, breathe, ignore things, blah blah blah.

And I don’t feel unhappy! In fact, I may be the happiest I’ve ever been. I just feel anxious A LOT of the time.