Do you ever worry about becoming someone you don’t want to be? Maybe you have a specific person in mind, whose actions you simply abhor… or maybe it’s just a collection of traits that you worry about.
I have both – certain influential people in my life, as well as a list of various traits I try to avoid accruing.
Lately, I haven’t been giving my emotions the attention that they deserve. I’ve been very quick to react to things. Rather then stepping back, observing and evaluating, I hastily make decisions, just to try to keep up with the pace of things. I’ve become incredibly impatient. I don’t want to sit still or slow down for a minute.
This is adversely affecting me at work and at home. And I am beginning to worry more and more about turning into someone I don’t want to be.
I know who I want to be: happy, healthy, someone that people think of as “nice,” fun to be around, a good listener, hardworking, reliable, friendly, funny, intelligent, approachable, attractive, easy-going, patient, understanding…
But how do I get there? And QUICK! before I go to far in the other direction!
I’ve noticed that when I actually do slow down and take time to think about what is going on in my head (why I am reacting to things the way I am) I find the cause of the “problem.” But sometimes I just want to ignore it. I just want to avoid it. How awful is that? Here, let me just shut my brain off for awhile and go on autopilot. Let’s see where that gets me. I don’t like where that gets me.
OK, well, I don’t really know, but I would say that recognizing that this is something you’d like to improve is half the battle. From here I’d say that maybe one thing you can do is look for triggers or thought processes that you send you off in this autopilot direction. If you learn what to look out for–like you’re stressed, you’re in a rush, you want to tell someone at work whatever it is they want to hear–then you can teach yourself to identify those moments and pause during them. You know?
Good luck!
I think you have to just keep striving to be the person you want to be. Consider the fact that most good traits are in direct contrast to the bad ones. So, instead of thinking “I don’t want to be impatient”, think “I want to be the person who sits back patiently.” Reverse the negativity, it helps.
Not sayin’ I’m put together correctly, but it’s easier to strive for the things you want, rather than to say something is wrong with what you have, you see?
Jess – Thank you – I do think that recognizing it is a huge step in the right direction. I don’t want to feel shocked later, like “How did I get here?” Now I need to pinpoint all the little stress triggers.
Kyra – I tried to make a list of what I want to be and just flush out the negativity, but it is true that part of the problem is that I feel bad for acting like someone I don’t want to be.
We have all acted like someone we don’t want to be. We are human, not one of us is perfect. We all need to work on the behaviors within us that are less than desirable. What I’m trying to say is, you are not alone and BRAVO for recognizing the behaviors that you want to “delete” from your personality. Think of the positive behaviors that you desire and don’t dwell on the negative.
We have all at different times in our lives “wished” we were a different type of person. I always wish to be like the generous/thoughtful people that I know. Those that are always thinking of what somone else would benefit from or like. Autopilot is an easy answer, but not the best one.
I think it’s hard *not* to just go through parts of life on autopilot. When days seem so repetitive, days are long and you’re just trying to make it through each day…each week…each month..it turns into autopilot. However, recognizing it is a good step in the right direction!!!!!
Okay, and i swear I didn’t read the other responses before replying. I loaded your page and then came back to it hours later to actually comment. Talk about being repetitive…haha.
Just you recognizing this about yourself is a solid start and a step in the right direction. 🙂 You’re miles ahead of me, dear. I’m too afraid to stop the autopilot and really consider if I’m who I want to be. It’s scary.
I agree with everyone else–recognition is the first step.
…Though I seem to be stuck on the first step, having recognized that I am a bitch. Oops.
I get that way too. I’m impatient for change. But we all have to give ourselves time outs or we’d be in complete overload. I think slowing down is the first step and realizing we can’t do it ALL or be perfect all the time.
Well, I agree with all the above comments. You are definitely half-way there in knowing your faults and having an image of who you wanna be! I know tons of ppl who still don’t even realize where their faults are, or worse, even show their bad traits thinking it’s who they “really” are and why change that at all?
I also have an image of who I want to be, which is very very similar as yours. But I think it is a lifelong process, a slow but gradual work up towards that goal. As long as there are little positive changes each day, you’re doing an awesome job!
Denise – Thank you Denise. You are right. I am not perfect, but no one else is either! I am trying to make my positive list and focus on that, but at the same time, I don’t want to just cover up when I am … in a nasty mood 🙁
Bethany – No worries! I do that ALL THE TIME!!! I hate that autopilot is SO MUCH EASIER. I hate making the effort when it comes to MYSELF. Really, I should be putting myself FIRST!
Jen – I am sorry that you are stuck on autopilot too. Do you feel like writing is helping at all? It helps me. Look at who you are. I bet you are wonderful 🙂
Mica – LOL! That is what I keep saying to Steven, “Guess I am just a bitch!” Yeah, that is probably the LAST THING my husband wants to hear!
sizzle – It can’t all be perfect OR happen right now. I should write that down and post it EVERYWHERE!!!
Sophia – You are right. As long as I work towards the right direction each day, that is progress. Thank you for pointing that out. It makes me feel better 🙂
I wanted to leave a comment on the post from today, but maybe you closed comments on that post…
I think this is why I am struggling so much with the tenure stuff at work…I am now to the point where there is NOTHING I can do, and my complete future is in the hands of 9 people who may or may not get me.
i think everyone is on the right track by saying that recognizing your faults is a very good step towards being a “better” person or i should say the person you want to be!!! i give you two thumbs up for taking action!!!! autopilot is the easy answer but sometimes the easy answer isn’t always the best one (as much as it kills me to admit that!)
=^..^=
Hotch Potchery – Thanks for letting me know my site was all messed up last week 😉 I think I would go crazy if I were in the same situation as you. :(I hate it when someone else gets to make a decision for me. Hate it!
CourtneyInControl – Don’t you just wish that, for once, the right answer WAS the easy one? Hee hee 😉