I used to be that woman who refused to buy clothes that weren’t a certain size. Even though the clothing size label isn’t on the outside of clothing, it still makes me feel rotten on the inside to not be wearing “my size.” It’s a mental thing.
So I wore all “my size” clothes until they got tighter and tighter. Then I finally went shopping and couldn’t find anything that “fit.” Well duh. I kept looking for “my size.”
Steven was with me and trying his hardest to help me find a pair of pants for work. He brought me a nice pair of pants and said, “Why don’t you try these on?”
Well, I freaked out. “THOSE WON’T FIT!”
“What do you mean they won’t fit?” he asked. “You haven’t even tried them on!”
“They are my OLD size. I don’t fit that size anymore. I need something BIGGER.”
After I told him, I wanted to cry. But at the same time, getting it out made me feel better. I didn’t feel so bad buying bigger clothes after that.
And honestly, I don’t think I am a disgusting, unattractive person at this weight. I just look at pictures of myself, say, 50 pounds ago, and feel so sad for what I know I can be.
*that is not me in the photo, but probably close to what I look like*
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Today’s Idiom: a pig in a poke – an item you purchase without having seen; a disappointment
Luckily, our new couch and loveseat didn’t turn out to be a pig in a poke! We placed our order based off of a picture in an ad!
It’s hard to adjust when your body weight has shifted. If you want to change, when you are ready, you will. But there is NOTHING wrong with you as is, now. We’re so mean to ourselves, aren’t we? It’s just a number on the tag…it does not rate your worth! 🙂
I completely understand. I picture myself 60 pounds ago and wonder how the hell I got here.
sizzle – I was mean to myself for a long time, and you know what? I think that actually HELD me back from being healthier. For now, I am just going to love myself as I am, tryi to exercise and eat healthy, and see where THAT gets me! 🙂
Jenn – It’s so easy to pile pounds on… then hate yourself the whole time you’re trying to get back to a “normal” weight. 🙁
Aww don’t go there with yourself. You can turn it around this very moment. Also, don’t trust sizes, they’re all wonky. Seriously. There are no standardized sizes in the women’s clothing industry.
i haven’t been here in a while… i know i know, i’m a bad friend. i have three things to say here.
1. you’re gorgeous.
2. i miss your smile.
3. i LOVE the new blog header!!!!!!!!
The end.
LOVE!!!!!!!!!
Women and our body images! It’s such a waste of modern society. Think of women in the 1800s – they had curves. Women are supposed to have curves. And be a little soft. So, shame on mass media for making us think otherwise. Though, that doesn’t change me from wanting to lose 10-20 pounds before my wedding in October!
In what you said in response to Sizzle – it’s much easier to be good to ourselves, eat healthfully, etc., when we love ourselves just as we are. Hard to do as we’re taught from such a young age to hate our bodies and strive for the unattainable…
Life is so much better when we’re kind to ourselves 🙂
Kyra (savy) – You’re right – about it all. I can change… and sizes are wonky! It really drives me nuts when I am one size in one store and another in another store… wah.
bobi+ – Thanks. I miss you. Maybe I should hire you to do some blog header photos for me? 😉
Nilsa S. – I love seeing old photos and movies with curvier women. It’s sad that our ideals have changed so much. (and don’t feel vain about your wedding – it’s your big day!)
suze – all this time I thought I loved myself as is… but then I think about it – if I loved myself, why would I treat myself this way?!
Hey, where did you get that picture of me!? 😉
Seriously, ignore the labels. Just go with what makes you feel good and flatters the ‘you’ that you are.