Still struggling
On Sunday Steven and I visited Fleet Feet in Elmhurst. The employee who helped us was great – very knowledgeable, accommodating, patient and friendly. She did a gait analysis for both of us, recommended a few different kinds of shoes, helped me find a new sports bra, and talked to me a bit about Luna Moons (which I’ve really been wanting to try!) and different ways to carry water while we run. And when I mentioned I wanted to read one of the books they sell there, she hooked me up – for free!
You know what I was thinking most of the time I was there though?
I bet this girl is looking at me and wondering what I am doing in a running store. I don’t look like a runner.
What is up with that? I went there shortly after finishing a 6 mile run. I should have still be pumped and proud of that! I guess the endorphins wore off.
Why do I care if other people see me as a runner, when all that matters if I see myself as a runner?
I DO see myself as a runner.
The funny thing is, later that night, still feeling a little down, I opened up the book she gave us, and flipped to a random page. The first paragraph I read said:
It’s clear to me now that I’ll never have a runner’s body, no matter how many miles I run. Instead, I’m concentrating on having a runner’s soul.
Then, that chapter goes on about how running won’t make you have a “runner’s” body – your body is still your body. No amount of exercise can change the natural build of it. Running won’t make your legs longer, or your hips narrower. You have to be grateful for the body you have, and what it’s given you.
How true. That is the logic I am going to have to use to fight the body image battle.
This battle is constantly up and down for me. I don’t know if it will ever be over, but I do know that I’ve gained a lot of ground. The more tools I can to fight with, the better.
Ups and Downs in the Economy
I’m not an economist, but I’ve been making my own internal speculations about products and services that may be affected by the current economy. I figured activities like library visits, grocery store shopping and working out from home would be up, and eating out, going to the movies and getting haircuts would be down.
The Sun-Times featured an interesting article yesterday on the same topic (click here for a visual version of the article). Their lists of “ups” and “downs” reinforced some of my assumptions, but shattered one of them (okay, and some of the things on their list are just silly).
UPS:
- Seed Sales
- SPAM Sales
- McDonald’s Sales
- Book (American History, Romance, Science Fiction and Fantasy) Sales
- Library Book Borrowing
- Wine Sales
- Movie Attendance
DOWNS:
- Frozen Meals for Seniors
- Shark Attacks (???)
- Stocks
- Fortune-Telling
- Cigarette Sales
- Plastic Surgery
- Hotel Occupancy
What do you think of the list? Have you been making any speculations of your own?
(I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone or make anyone think I am not taking this very seriously. I just found the article interesting and wanted to share it.)
There’ll be days like this
Yesterday, I had one of those “why I am doing this?” runs on the treadmill. It’s been such a long time since I’ve had one. The training schedule said I had a 3 mile run, but I wanted to do my Sunday 6-miler a day earlier.
By the 2.5 mile mark, I was feeling exhausted and weak. I needed food. Mentally and physically, I knew I could finish the 6 miles, but I made the mistake of focusing on how weak I felt, and how I was really supposed to do the 6-miler on Sunday, not Saturday. And, I was in some sort of “in-between moods” mood that didn’t feel great. I am usually more excited to get on the treadmill and that fuels me through my run.
So I stopped at 3.5 miles, and felt upset with myself.
Which is ridiculous.
I did the run I was supposed to do. I am still in training. I need to stick with the schedule. But, for some reason, I wanted to push myself further.
This is just all the more reason to make the 6-miler today an awesome one! Update: I ran my 6-miler, and it went well. I remembered the mantra “Run the mile you’re in.” It helps keep me from being daunted by the longer mileage.
Other running news:
- Steven and I are working out some finances, but I think there is a 90% chance we will run the Disney Half Marathon on January 9, 2010!
- Steven ran his first 7-miler yesterday and kicked butt! I am so proud of him. I cannot convey in writing how joyful I am to be able to share my love of running with him.
- We are going to visit Fleet Feet for this first time today for gait analysis and running shoe recommendations. And I am going to get some help picking out a new sports bra! Let me tell you, as the miles add up, you really need a supportive bra. Things start to chafe.
- A Snap Fitness 24/7 has just opened extremely close to our house! Our plans were to buy a bowflex machine for our home, but we may not have space for it. We’re not looking for a gym, but this one is so close, I thought I may look into it. Does anyone have any experience with them?
Jewel tones are in!
I love Target for inexpensive “I’m in between sizes” clothing. A lot of my work pants are too big now (and the one pair that fits has a hole that needs to be fixed) and some tops are as well. I would love to go drop the cash at Banana Republic and buy the pants I really want (hello, Martin fit), but what is the point when I am losing weight?
I noticed something funny yesterday when I was trying on tops – everything I tried on was either teal or a ruby shade! I guess jewel tones are in!
Has anyone else noticed this? An abundance of emerald green, amethyst purple, ruby red, topaz yellow, sapphire blue, turquoise blue, and tourmaline green (color descriptions taken from here)? It seems that I read about these shades in one of my magazines… of course now, I don’t recall which.
These photos don’t do the tops justice – trust me, they’re cute. And what is the deal with the Target models? Are they not allowed a full head?
Is anyone else trying out the jewel tones?
I sure am! I just hope I can still wear my plum and mustard clothing. I invested quite a bit in plum, and have even been rockin’ a mustard top (although a timid one) lately.
Click here to read about another blogger who loves jewel tones! Oh, and after watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with Steven last night, I realized their uniforms are jewel-toned as well. Ha ha.
Friday Question #57
Has your favorite store ever stopped carrying one of your favorite items? What was the item? What did you do when they stopped carrying it?
I ask, because this seems to happen to us ALL THE TIME. We do the bulk of our grocery and non-grocery shopping at Target, and they seem to be a bit inconsistent with the items they stock. We’ll try something new, fall in love with it, buy it for 6 months or so… then it’s just gone one day.
They’ve gotten a little better, but I think what we have been dreading is true – they are no longer carrying the Nueva Cocina Mexican Rice Mix – something that has become a staple in our “Mexican” dinner nights.
At first, the shelf for the rice was empty, but the tag was still there. So we figured they just needed to stock it. But then, we kept checking for a month or two, and it was never stocked. Then last time, the tag was gone.
We’re pretty upset..
How silly, right? Why don’t we try something else, or even try to make it ourselves? I’m sure we will resort to that if we must. It’s just that when you buy a product, and you really start to love it, you hate to replace it.
For now, we’ll probably search a few other grocery stores, or maybe even buy it on amazon (which seems very, very strange to me).
Update: I just got back from shopping at Target, and guess what? They stopped carrying our favorite stick margarine, Imperial. I wonder what Steven will say about this… Oh, and P.S. I stopped at two other grocery stores and didn’t find our rice mix. Wah!
Already fighting temptation
I was at the office print center this morning, and they had a glass candy bowl filled with yummy treats.
I looked down at it, and my eyes fixated on the one piece of chocolate in it – a Milky Way Midnight Mini.
I picked it up and held it in my hand. I thought, “I will go put this in my desk drawer – then I can have it as a small treat this afternoon!”
Then I remembered. Was it not just yesterday that I said I would try to cut back on sugar?
Jeez. This may be harder than I thought.
Luckily, I remembered my new goal, and put it back in the bowl. Then I felt something strange – a sense of relief. Relief that I can now walk around the office and ignore ALL of the candy bowls, because I am going to try not to eat any sugary treats.
The relief feels pretty good.
Reflecting on Lent
I religiously (ha) avoid discussing religion on my blog. But, on a day like Ash Wednesday, it’s something that’s hard to ignore. Even if you know nothing about the meaning of the day, you are bound to bump into someone on the street with ashes and wonder a little bit.
I don’t feel like I have a strong religious background. I was baptized in a Catholic Church and attended mass quite a bit with my family when I was younger. I went to “CCD” on Wednesday nights through most of my childhood. But after I started high school, I lessened my attendance of organized religious services. I had a few bouts here and there where I attended mass, but it never stuck. I usually enjoyed the message, but felt out of place. As I’ve learned more about religion as I gotten older, I think I can closely relate to many religion’s principles, but maybe Buddhism the most.
Anyway. I’ve always admired the concept of Lent. Traditional practices during Lent include prayer, fasting (food and festivities), and goodwill towards neighbors (volunteering, etc.) The fast reflects on “the forty days Jesus spent in the desert, during which he endured temptation by Satan.” Fasting begins on Ash Wednesday (today), and lasts until Easter Sunday (April 12th). The six Sundays in Lent are not counted towards the forty days, as they represent a “Mini-Easter.” (Thanks for all the info wikipedia!)
I truly believe that the practice of fasting, along with giving up other non-food luxuries, can be a healthy reminder of our good fortune and blessings. It can be used as a time to reflect upon who we really want to be – as an individual, spouse, friend, neighbor, coworker, citizen, etc. Ideally, we would focus on these things ALL YEAR LONG, but the truth is, we don’t. We get comfortable and we take things for granted – whether that be our supply of food, a good friend’s companionship, job security, our health, etc.
I suspect that now, with the state of the economy, people are reflecting on their fortune and luxuries a bit more than they had before. People are naturally cutting back. I feel like we are. The “bad” economy has not affected us directly, but we are conscious of it. So why not use that as a start to fully engage in a self-examination? What luxuries do we have in our lives? Which could we give up, or cut back on?
I think many of the tangible things I take for granted on a daily basis could be considered luxuries – owning our own home, owning two (running) cars, owning a treadmill, owning multiple high-priced electronic items, owning a laptop, having enough food in the house that I can overeat, and so on.
And there are non-tangible things I take for granted – having a full-time well-paying job, the physical ability to work out, my marriage, my relationship with my family, the right to speak my mind, the good will of my neighbors, and so on.
What actions can I take to be more appreciative? What could I cut back on in my life, that would allow me to be a better person to myself, and also to my friends/family and community?
Realistically, I could give up:
- Sugary Treats. Kevin is giving up sugar – but has the same partial reasoning behind it as me – it might boost some weight loss. Would giving up sugary sweets be a real sacrifice to me, or would it be selfish? I have a definite sweet tooth that causes me to seek out a sweet treat almost once a day… how would refusing that urge better me? Would it teach me to be grateful?
- Swearing/Gossip/Negative Talk. I don’t think this is always 100% possible, but I think I could be making a lot greater effort than I am.
- Spending money on frivolous items. Every once in awhile, I get the urge to read a new book, or magazine, even though I have plenty of them at home. It’s an indulgence and a waste of money.
- Dining out. Cut back to 2 nights a week (one being Subway before fencing) and 1 lunch throughout the week. This one may be difficult. I would have to be prepared by always having something to eat with me.
- Blogging. I wouldn’t stop blogging, but cut back on the amount of time I spend reading blogs and possibly, writing for mine. Would this be beneficial, or detrimental? I find blogging and reading blogs therapeutic and an aid to my well-being. I can at least monitor the hours spent on it.
Actions to better myself, my relationships, and my impact on society:
- Be a better listener
- Volunteer
- Have more patience
- Call family/friends more often
- Focus on meaningful communication
(What am I missing, from either list?)
I think I would like to give this a try. I think I could use some betterment, and reflection right now, especially when it comes to the second list. I spend a lot of time thinking about my own goals… about my life. I feel that I am a thoughtful and considerate person, but I could MAKE THE EFFORT to become more involved with other people.
Maybe I will end up writing some progress reports on this experiment. Or at least a summary in the end.
I hope I conveyed all of this in the most respectful manner possible.
Side note: Jen has some interesting input on the topic.
Sad animal stories – this is what I was talking about
Awhile ago, I wrote about how happy I was to see a happy animal story in the paper.
This is the kind of article that made me say that. Toni Fedor had her boyfriend watch her dog while she went to work in 2007. When she came home, her dog was so severely beaten that he lost an eye. On Monday, the ex-boyfriend was sentenced to 10 days in jail, along with a two year probation, a psychological evaluation, and 150 hours of community service. He also had to pay $1500 to cover veterinary expenses.
Ten days in jail seems like a very lenient sentence to me (And oh, why is this being settled over a year later?). But Fedor is quoted in the story as saying, “I feel like it’s a punishment that fits the crime.” Does that mean she is satisfied with this minimal sentence?
Think if that was YOUR pet. YOUR dog. YOUR cat. YOUR bird. YOUR ferret. YOUR rabbit. YOUR whatever. I know animals are not the same as people. I am not crazy. But when you have a pet, they FEEL like family.
Ten days in jail is not the appropriate sentence for hurting a family member like that. Especially a small, defenseless family member.
People who hurt animals are likely to go on and hurt PEOPLE. Many studies back this up. I think the boyfriend deserves a bit more time in jail, and a little bit more than a psychological evaluation.
And this guy (scroll to bottom), who kicked a cat so hard that it had to be euthanized? I hope he does get the full three years in prison.
My perfect start to the day…
- I’m awake on the train ride to work and read the paper
- No one gets in my way on the walk to work
- I ride the elevator alone on the way up to my floor
- There’s no wait at the microwave to make my oatmeal
- No emails/phone messages at my desk
- My pants and shirt are hole-free (unlike yesterday…)
Hmm, makes me seem a bit anti-social, but that’s how like I like to start my day.
What’s your perfect start to the day?
I have a lot on my mind lately. There are some other things I want to post about, but I am going to split the topics up into two scheduled posts later today. I hate to bombard your reader, but I don’t want my topics to get lost in a “bullet list of topics” post.
Our fifth fencing class
Now I match my husband.
Battle wounds! I love bruises!!!
The giggling instigator was absent from fencing, and Steven was with a group of guys with smaller egos, giving actual constructive criticism to one another, so this week went much better.
I was in a group with three other women, and Tony, one of the experienced players. He beat everyone, 5-0. All along, I’ve been wondering why people are apologizing to one another when they stab them. I mean, that’s the game, right? How much could it hurt? Well, Tony hit me so hard on my right arm that he immediately apologized, and I immediately felt a stinging pain, like I couldn’t keep going. But he had to score one more point to beat me. Ha. He lunged so hard at me when he hit me, his sword bent into a huge curve. There was so much force behind the hit… I want to hit like that!
I almost redeemed myself against Tony in the final match, 5-4, but that was definitely luck. I felt a bit off tonight. I want to spend more time practicing the basics, but our instructor just wants us to fence in little tournaments against one another. And I didn’t see the instructor giving any feedback last night. I am not sure what he was doing. Tony gave me some good pointers though – protect my arm behind my bell guard, keep my right foot pointed forward, always have your sword straight out in front of you, etc.
Are you sick of reading about fencing? Well, you’re in luck – we don’t have fencing class next Monday! So you all get a break. Sorry, no break from running posts though. That is just my life.
Since we don’t have class, I am going to practice with Data next week. Maybe that will help him release some of his pent-up energy.
En garde Data! Muah ha ha!
Hi! I’m Kim, a 40-something-year-old living in northeastern Illinois with my husband Steven, and our cats, Khaleesi, Apollo, Starbuck, and Eddard aka Ned. My current main hobbies are running, painting rocks, flying, reading, and eating. I follow a vegan lifestyle and work in an account management role. I write about a variety of topics and consider this a “life” blog – a place I can share anything that’s on my mind. Please visit the “About” page to get a better idea of who I am! 🙂
