Every time I go to my INR appointment to check the rate at which my blood is clotting, they ask me a slew of questions. And one of them is “Do you have any new bruising?”

I always answer “Yes, but I know what it’s from!” Meaning, we don’t need to worry about this. It’s not a surprise or of unknown origin.

IT’S BECAUSE THINGS JUMP OUT AT ME!

Case in point.

What the f*ck is this thing.

More importantly, why does it have these sharp metal pieces sticking out of it?!

I ran into it not once, but twice.

Hence the glove for protection.

I’m such a mess.