My coworkers are so nice to me. This isn’t the example I came here to write about, but they keep calling me “hero” and saying I saved someone’s life after I shared my Thursday evening commute story with them all Friday morning. I don’t feel like it’s that big of a deal, but I appreciate their kindness. (And as a Leo/sometimes attention-whore, I did love telling that story to a captivated audience Friday morning!)
The example I was going to share is how I have this reputation of being positive at work. A few weeks ago I was having a morning and my supervisor was like “Are you okay? You aren’t your normal positive self!”
Last Friday someone pulled me aside and said “seeing your smiling face each day and feeling your positivity is keeping me going.” Awww.
I’ve been working really hard at letting small things go, having a positive mindset, not complaining, and keeping my momentum going. And, honestly, gaslighting myself into being unbothered instead of sad.
I shared a little of that to the person on Friday. They were saying they were impressed I was like that with my long commute, and I was just like “yeah… I don’t want to be a miserable person. I’m trying to find a little joy in each day and I hope you can too!”
I mean wtf else am I supposed to do. I’ve known miserable people. I don’t want to be like that. I’m here to enjoy life. I’m here to make connections. I’m here to laugh and make people laugh. I don’t want to wallow in the suck or do a lot of “woe is me.”
Is it sustainable? With maintenance… maybe? Which is why I have therapy today. When I was crying on the train last week because it was running 20+ minutes late, I was like, yeah, might be time for a therapy check-in.
Good for you for getting the support you need to help yourself show up in the way you want to in your life! It’s not because you make a conscious effort to not wallow in the suck that it is always easy to be the positive person on the team (I am that person on my team at work, so I can relate!)
Hang in there – sending hugs xxx ooo
Thank you! I am trying so hard to take care of myself and protect my peace.
You can totally relate! <3
Thank you!
I am so impressed by you, Kim! It’s so easy to fall into the martyr mindset and just be miserable. It’s a lot easier to be miserable! And you have every right to be “woe is me.” But trying to have a positive attitude and be kind to the people around you is going to take you much farther. <3
I'm glad you're still going to therapy! I hope you had a good session.
You’re so kind to say that! Thank you so much Stephany 🥹 It is a lot easier, but it just makes me feel so shitty to dwell in it and worry and speculate.
I did! It felt so rushed – she showed up late (no big deal!) and I had a hard stop then realized later I forgot a few things. I should probably schedule another soon!