I’ve received two cards that look like this now – with a big 4-0 on them! What the heck?!
Ha ha ha, I kid, I kid. I’m well aware I’m turning 40 next week. I mean, I treated myself to a whole freaking European vacation for it earlier this year! I just kind of wasn’t thinking about it, until I started getting cards.
I’m very much an “age is just a number” person at this point in my life, so entering this new decade doesn’t bother me. I do want to continue to prioritize my physical and mental health, to set myself up for as much future success as possible. Hmm, did that sentence make sense? I want to take care of my body now so I have the most chance of not feeling like shit as I age. There ya go.
When my mom turned 50 she told us she stopped being nice (really, meaning as nice, because I would argue my mom is too nice), and told us a story about picking up an item at the same time as someone else on the clearance rack and not letting them have it (when maybe she would have before?). Ha.
Anyway, I was thinking about that, because really, I think she was saying she was being less accommodating and putting herself first a bit more, and I’m already in that era of my life, and have been for a while now, and am looking forward to leaning into that more and more, and becoming even more comfortable with it. For example, this week I told someone NO and didn’t even think twice about it or feel bad. GO ME!!!!!!!
TW: Death talk
I’ve maybe talked about this before here but am forgetting and too lazy to look it up. *shrugs*
In the past few years I’ve had this wonderful thing (sarcasm) start happening where I get anxiety in the middle of the night about what my life is going to be like 30 or 40 years from now and if I will be worrying about death then. Not in a “have I done something with my life” way, but in a “am I still down to clown but can’t anymore?” way. So, welcome to my brain – current me worries about what future me will worry about. Like, worrying inception or some shit.
They’re just stupid intrusive thoughts, but I was having a hard time getting out of the anxiety spiral until I realized that hey, maybe at the age, I will just be done. And ready to go. I won’t go into why I came to that realization, because it involves many other people, but that is where I’m at now, and I don’t stress about it anymore. For now.
I’ll be getting cards that say 5-0 on them next year, so I’m laughing at all you kids who are just turning 40. Youngsters!
But yes, with age comes wisdom aka not wanting to put up with other people’s crap anymore and it is wonderful.
Well, it sounds like I have ten more years to catch up to your level of not putting up with crap. Challenge accepted! Thanks for thinking I am young, because I feel that way too!
I remember us talking about the death convo and what it will be like when we’re in our 70s/80s – will we start to feel less scared of death? IDK! I do feel like I give fewer and fewer fucks the older I get, and that’s really nice. A lot of times I think to myself, “Will I regret how I lived my life when I’m older?” Like, will I regret not dating more seriously because I’ll be alone? But then who’s to say I *will* be alone?! I could meet my forever person in my 40s or 50s!
On the outside your life looks very vibrant, fulfilling, and purposeful, so I personally doubt you’ll regret it. You’re someone who knows who you are, who you love to spend time with, and what you like to do and you try to frame your life to do those things… your person will pop into your life when the time is right! <3