I’ve been so darn focused on the present and living in the moment that I’m failing to take time to daydream about the future.
I mean, it sounds like a good thing to be so focused and present, but what it means for me is that I’m not getting as excited as I should about things in my personal life, and I’m struggling to plan for the future at work.
I’ve been operating in survival mode for a couple months. I fit in workouts where I can, work work work (including weekends for my part-time job), do chores and errands, then feel entirely too brain-dead to do anything after work, and try to fall asleep by 9:00 so I can wake up at 5:00 and do it all again the next day. And my days leading up to anything fun are typically like that. So I have well-meaning friends asking me if I’m excited about xyz thing and I have to decide if I want to be honest and say “not yet, but I know I will be on the day of/when I get there” or if I just want to say “yes!”
And I know this is modus operandi for most of us. I know I am not alone!
But I want to get back to feeling excited about things. We’ve all heard that half of the fun of a big event coming up is the anticipation, and I want to feel that again. And I want to make mental space to plan and figure out things a little more than right before because that is definitely not my M.O. and feels odd. But again, survival mode.
I was thinking about all of this on my lunch run today, because instead of multitasking and listening to a podcast or book I decided to listen to music and just let my mind wander, and take time to get excited about all the fun things we have coming up (a river trip for my birthday! the fly-in at Abel Island! Val visiting in September!) and it felt really good! (It did NOTHING to propel me on my run. I was so excited it was in the 70s that I took an extra hour off to run a little longer and my legs were like, nah, girl, you not running fast today).
So. Yeah. Gonna do that more. Hopefully.
A year ago today (well, it was a Thursday but actually the 20th leap year blah blah) was the day Steven surprised my family by flying out to Guttenberg, Iowa. We hadn’t told them he was working on getting his license and it was so fun to share it that way!
Thinking about that is definitely getting me excited for the fly-in in August. Cross your fingers for good weather and a dry runway.
Random! I painted this rock for Steven of the plane he flies the most – Echo Sierra, a Cessna 172 Skyhawk.
Welcome to the theme of my life for the past few years – every damn day is exactly like the day before. Travel really shook things up and gave me something to be excited about again.
I’m glad it has!
Sometimes I think about how my life was before smartphones. At this point in my life, I rarely just sit and do nothing. I’m reading, listening to podcasts, or whatever. If I’m in a waiting room, I don’t just sit and stare into space. I do wonder how much damage we’re doing by not just being alone with our thoughts.
We’re definitely altering who we are! Making ourselves even more susceptible to needing instant gratification, and constant connection or entertainment.
I was just sitting in the car today with my mom and stepdad and I was able to let my mind wander while my stepdad drove us home, and it was SO NICE. It’s so rare that I’m not on my phone or keeping my mind occupied in some other type of way, and I really wish I could just hire someone to drive me around for an hour where I can just stare out the window and daydream haha.
Get Stephany a driver, stat! That would be nice, right? That is the nice thing about taking the train to work.
Kim, this: So I have well-meaning friends asking me if I’m excited about xyz thing and I have to decide if I want to be honest and say “not yet, but I know I will be on the day of/when I get there” or if I just want to say “yes!”
LITERALLY happened to me this morning. I’m heading out of town for a few days and my mom said, oh, you sound like you’re ready, you must be excited. NO NO I AM NOT. I’m stressed thinking about what to do when and what I need and getting All The Things Done and… yeah. So what I’m saying is, I hear you. Gah.
If you figure out the daydreaming thing, help a friend out. Right now I’m so far down in the news that I’m having trouble clawing my way out… <3
It’s even harder when it’s someone you would think would know you and know that you can’t be excited yet (or maybe won’t be at all). Ugh. Hope the trip was good.
Girl, turn the news off! I know that’s horrible, but that is how I get by. Ignorant, uniformed, etc.