A podcaster I listen to mentioned they are moving and my first thought was literally “but they love their neighbors and neighborhood so much!”
They went on to talk about how when they move they will rent for a year so they can take the time to find their perfect neighborhood before they buy. They want neighbors that they’re close enough with that they can just walk into each other’s houses. They want to walk on the street and stop and say hello to everyone else walking, or sitting on their porch. They want to see garage doors open, and kids out playing. They mentioned visiting family and hating how their neighborhood had all the garage doors closed and was so quiet.
This is perfect for them (especially with children), but almost the EXACT opposite of what I want! Ha!
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The huge cottonwood in our yard that that top fell off of a few years ago, sad face
I don’t want to be able to see our neighbors’ home from mine, and ideally, I can’t hear them. I want to say hello and know their names when I am walking on the street, but I want them stopping by announced. I want relationships, but privacy. I mostly want quiet, with some nature, train, and lawn care noises.
A toy I found buried in our yard
The funny thing is, I have extroverted tendencies* like this podcaster – I often gain energy from seeing other people (when it’s my choice and I control the timeline, ha) – but I crave privacy and quiet. I did the living on a noisy street thing and absolutely hated it. I still have nightmares about living there – I had one last night, in fact. Steven and I were just talking yesterday about how poor of a fit that neighborhood was for us.
*But am definitely an ambivert
Hashtag safety first!
But our current one? We love it 90% of the time!
A new redbud in front of Dragonstone (the one being planted in the image above)
Which way do you lean – noisy neighborhood or quiet and private neighborhood?
I grew up on the end of an island and it was so isolated, especially in the winter. I always thought I wanted a busy neighborhood, and to be super friendly with the neighbors, but then when we moved to a place like that, I was too shy to make friends. And I realized I value privacy a lot.
Oh interesting! So do you feel like you have enough privacy where you live now?
I grew up in a very isolated place too – in town but on 7 wooded acres with just one neighbor. I am just not used to living around lots of other people.
Our backyard is nice and private, but our neighbors can still hear us. (and I feel like they judge me when I’m telling at my kids!) The front is definitely not- and yet I still take the dog out in my pajamas every morning and realize that anyone driving by can probably see my underwear. But I have gotten so used to being so close to everything that I don’t know if I could back to living in the middle of nowhere.
It’s so great when you have the backyard space like that at – if they can hear you, you at least have that visual privacy. And I bet they aren’t, I bet they are thinking “those kids need to give their momma a break!”
Ha! I bet you are not the only one out there taking the dog out to do their business in their PJs!!!
I actually like the noisy/busy neighborhood. My neighborhood growing up was like that – my parents were friends with all of our neighbors and all of us kids played together too. Then obviously Chicago was like that (I had some really wonderful neighbors in various buildings), and our neighborhood now is like that too. I’m super introverted but I do like having people around where there are easy things to talk about. I know a lot of people really value privacy (and even more so now what with our phones overhearing things, etc.) but that’s really never been important to me.
That’s awesome! I always wondered what it was like growing up with neighborhood friends. And wonder if I’d prefer that if I grew up that way (most likely). And good point on having easy things to talk about with neighbors. I definitely feel like I will be in the minority with my preference here.
I don’t think it will ever stop to amaze me how much my phone is spying on me. LOL.
I love having neighbors we can talk to in person, and via text/etc, friendly faces on the street, other kiddos that my kids can hopefully someday meet and play with. I would never be okay with a neighbor walking into my house unannounced though lol! I would love to have a big plot of land, but not really for privacy reasons – just to have room to play!
I hope you have that some day!!!! And I think it would be awesome to have other kids for your kids to play with. Do you ever wonder what that would have been like for us? I appreciate how independent our childhood home made me, but I wonder.
Yeah, it blew my mind when they said their neighbor’s walk right in.
Quiet and private, for sure.
Looks like you found yourself the upper half of a G.I. Joe Nemesis Enforcer… https://www.collectors.com/action-item/vintage-1987-gi-joe-cobra-nemesis-enforcer-action-figure/-640306946317906968
Woo hoo, team private!
Oh my gosh! Thanks for finding that for me! I have been curious about what it is and how old it might be. Was that hard for you to find? Or did you recognize him?
I live in a dense community with a lot of families/kids. We’ve only been here a few years and aren’t currently close (relationship-wise) to any of our immediate neighbors. Maybe someday but I’m not as extroverted about meeting and chatting with people. I do know some people in the neighborhood from the kids’ schools/daycare and from my running group but we aren’t super close yet. The family we are closest to live out of our neighborhood. I don’t LOVE the lack of privacy in our ‘hood but I do like the family feel to it and I think the kids will love it as they grow older and have more friends.
The way you write makes you me think you are hoping to be closer with some of your neighbors in the upcoming years? The kids will definitely love it, especially if their classmates are nearby! Is it similar to where you grew up?
I don’t think it will surprise you that I want a QUIET neighborhood. But I also crave the convenience of city living – a Target/grocery store within 5 minutes from me is highly valuable to me. And plenty of good restaurants to order from! I live in an apartment and everyone is friendly but not overly so. I’ve lived in apartments where everyone is overly friendly and hanging out, and that’s just not my vibe. I want to be able to say hi to you and pet your dog, but then move on with my life. I don’t need to have a full conversation with you, lol.
Do you feel like you have that now? It sounds ideal! Where we live now is pretty quiet but we are 7 mins from Walmart (eh) and 15 mins from four areas with lots of shopping.
Ha, I would totally get stuck in a long conversation in that instance!
Ha, I don’t want a NOISY neighborhood. (As you may recall, our front living room is super noisy because of the busy street and bad windows.) However, I definitely want a busy city neighborhood, though I prefer tree-lined and quieter streets.
I actually find that I know my neighbors much less, even though I live right next to them. I’ve usually said hi to my city neighbors, but I don’t often learn their names.
I do recall that! But it was nice and quiet in the back 🙂
Do you think you would know your neighbors better in a more rural setting? (it seems more unlikely to me!)
I am torn. I think I’d love the community but at the same time are a pretty introverted person and would hate for people to stop by unannounced (I mean, unless you’re such close friends that you don’t feel the need to “put on a face” and things are very natural, but to get to that state with a neighbor that can take a while ;))
Even then… people interrupting my free time… I am so protective of it. Ha, it really depends on what mood I am in!!! I bet you could get that close with neighbors though!
Sorry again for the late comment – but I couldn’t resist with this one. I’m with Stephany, and with you. I definitely do NOT want to be in a busy, interactive neighborhood… I like to live my own life, familiar enough with others to say hi or nod hello, but not so much that they’re in my yard. (Or, goodness, walking into my house.) I lived in a neighborhood like that when I first moved to Iowa and… it was not for me. Everyone else thrived on the spontaneous get togethers and I just wanted to escape! I’m so glad that you found a neighborhood that works for you.
You never need to apologize! I appreciate any comment, any time! (Although I do turn them off after one month due to spam, lol)
Do you feel like you have that where you live now? It’s great when we can all find what works for us. My home environment just can’t be that noisy/interactive! I love how our home is like a little sanctuary in the woods right now!