I’m so glad I had this skein of yarn and new pattern with me on the train last night.
It sat in my bag, untouched, on the ride in, and most of the ride home. I was too tired to think about figuring out a new pattern.
But just short of two stops to mine, the conductor came on to announce our train was involved in an emergency incident, and to expect delays.
I immediately looked at the Metra site, which usually has the most current information, and saw that the train I was on had struck a pedestrian (pdf here). We were actually past the station, which makes me think it a suicide, and not an accident (but what do I know?). Ugh, that poor person.
The conductors didn’t have much info at first, but started sharing it as soon as they got it. We had to wait for the coroner and Metra police to arrive, and that would be at least an hour. Then they had to do a full investigation, which would take time. They expected a three hour delay, and couldn’t let us off, since we were between stops.
The Metra conductors were professional, courteous, extremely apologetic, and shared as much info as they had (and even offered bottled water). But I am not in the best emotional state these days* and felt like I was about to have a bit of a break down. Despite how great they were being. And despite the gravity of the situation (and trying to see the big picture).
So I brought out the knitting.
And focused on learning some new stitches.
And knitted for the two and a half hours we sat there (not three, yay!).
And saved my crying break down for the car drive home.
Yay, knitting to the rescue! It really is calming.
*Thinking about Snow, work issues, hormones, etc. I actually had a mopey post about Snow ready for today, but I’ll save it, and maybe not even post it. Writing about it definitely helps, and talking to people about it does too, but I am just not sure how much of my crummy emotional state I want to put on the blog.
Ugh, the pedestrian incidents. The first couple of years that I was taking Metra regularly that seemed to happen a LOT on my way home. I remember reading like half of The Devil in the White City during one of those. Which is to say, it’s good to have something to do with you, just in case.
I always felt so sorry for the train conductors in those situations, because I’m sure they see the person and can’t stop 🙁
I’m sorry you’re feeling so mopey lately. I’m always here if you need to talk.
It does happen often, and it’s so sad 🙁 I wonder how the conductors feel too. I hope they get training to handle it, and also get counseling after.
Thanks. 🙂
Oh wow – that’s so sad :(! I can relate to having the breakdown…it’s like that one last thing that happens just to put me over the edge. I hope today is better.
It is 🙁 For the person and their family and the conductor driving. Ugh 🙁
Right? It’s just one little thing and you can’t deal. Thanks! I think it will be. My train was on time this am and I stopped and got a donut!
I’m so sorry to hear about Snow :(…I cried when I read your post about him. I have two sweet cats (they’re brothers), and I can’t imagine losing one of them.
Aww, thank you!!! I love that you have brothers!!! Please give them a hug and some pets from me!
I am so sad for the family of the person that was struck by the train. As well as the person that may have thought that was their only option. I’m sorry you had to be on the train when that happened. Sending you tons of heartfelt hugs. I understand all too well about the sadness, loss and grieving for Snow. That takes awhile to decrease but quite honestly it never goes completely away. He is part of your heart and his part is broken. I am always here to talk and if you feel the need to share the post about Snow but don’t want to post it publicly. Feel free to send it privately to me. I will read it and cry with you. I love the new knitting pattern! Orange yarn. Imagine that. Lol. Sending love and hugs
Me too! I am hoping I am wrong in guessing it was a suicide, but it doesn’t seem like it was an accident 🙁
And thanks for understanding about Snow and offering that! It’s just seeing his stuff out (the house, his food, his blankets (I put those away)) and skipping his part of the feeding rituals that are getting to me. And not seeing his snowy footprints after our Sunday snow. And when I drive by where Steven found him. It will take time for sure. And I am still in shock by it! UGHHHHHHH.
Thanks! It was a kind of tricky pattern for me to learn so it was a good thing to work on when I had the time.
Love and hugs to you too!
We have two ceramic dishes for feeding Kip and Henry, and regularly wash them. I grabbed a clean one to feed Henry after Kip had died, and Jeff lost it, because that was Kip’s dish. Pet grief is raw and very real. So now, Kip’s dish is stowed in the cupboard. Honestly, he’d be pissed if Henry was using it anyway.
Very sad about the pedestrian accident. I hear that happens too often and most are intentional, ugh. Knitting to the mental rescue, yay! Your stitches are as always, so lovely, and that pattern (slipped stitch?) is really cool.
Oh gosh! I can totally get why Jeff reacted that way! I haven’t had the heart to put away Snow’s bowls yet! (Although seeing them messes with me too, so maybe I should). And LOL at your comment about it pissing off Kip 😉
It happens SO much out here. So much.
Thank you! It’s a right and left twist, with slipped stitches on the wrong side 🙂 http://www.knitpicks.com/cfPatterns/Pattern_Display.cfm?ID=56022220&media=blogpost&utm_source=media&utm_medium=marketing&utm_campaign=blogpost
Very cool pattern indeed, thanks!
That is a terrible thing to have happen at the end of the day when you are already exhausted and over everything. Even though at a rational level you know you are in much better place than the person hit by the train, it’s hard to think rationally when you are that tired and emotional. I’m glad you had your knitting and were able to use it stay occupied. Hopefully you also had a snack!
Yes! Thank you for understanding, and seeing how it made me feel so crummy at the time. I was just exhausted and wanted to get home (my commute is 2 hours and 15 mins door to door lol).
OMG I did NOT have a snack. I was eating too many at work and left there so “I’d be hungry for dinner!!!” AHHH! (Well, I did have my emergency energy gel, ha.)
Oh wow, what a horrible end to your day! I’m really glad that you had knitting to get you through that. (And we were just talking about how meditative it is!) I like that new stitch pattern, and your work looks so even!
Do you look up stitch patterns online? Is this one you’ll have to use for a new pattern? (I’m not sure how anyone learned to knit before the Internet. That’s how I learn everything now!)
And, of course, it sucks that Snow is gone, and I’m sure it will feel so raw and awful for awhile. 🙁 It’s good that you’re acknowledging it and giving yourself time to grieve (and coping with things like knitting!). I’m sure time will make it feel better, but ugh, what a bunch of crappy emotions right now!
Thank you! It went really well until I had to do a left twist, then I kind of messed up one. Oh well!
I do google them! Then I had to watch a ton of videos cause people do this twist different ways. So much better to use that, than images!
Thanks :-* I do just need time! And to cope with the things (knitting, napping, running, talking to friends) that help!
Its been shown that the same part of our brain reacts to pets as to our children. No surprise that you are feeling crummy. Feel free to post whatever you want. I’ll get dust in my eyes reading it but I’ll survive.
Martina is the same way about knitting when she is feeling anxious or bad in general. It makes me what to knit (but I don’t have the patience).
I hoping something really good happens for you to help you feel better! (sending those thoughts out to the universe-the force if you are real make it happen). x x x x
I believe it! They are my little fur babies. Thanks for your support! Maybe I will post it 🙂
I am super impatient, and it was hard to learn because I am, but I love it so much now.
YASSS! Thanks! I did have one good thing this am – I got a vegan donut! Woot! Small things 🙂
Oh man, what a tragedy. That’s so, so sad about the person who was hit by the train 🙁 I think that would be a challenging situation for anyone on the train, no matter how good or bad they’ve been feeling lately, but especially when you are “emotionally immunocompromised,” as I believe I once referred to myself when bad thing after bad thing after bad thing kept happening, it’s just that much harder to deal with. I’m glad you had something to do to ease your mind during the delay, but I’m really sorry you had to go through that whole experience (not just the delay, but the reason for the delay) in the first place 🙁 *even more hugs*
Thank you for your wonderfully understanding comments! I like your phrase – motionally immunocompromised! Now, if I can just remember to use it!
I am so glad I had something self-soothing with me, and now will make it a point to always do that! Thanks for the hugs! 🙂
Ugh, that sounds horrible, the fact that a person was hit by the train and that you had to sit on the train the whole time 🙁 I’m glad you had your knitting with you to help out. It looks beautiful.
It was! And then you can see the cops walking around with their flashlights. Ugh, just bad for everyone.
Me too! And thank you!