Not about the government shutdown. Although I am a federal employee.

Has something ever upset you so much that to deal with it level headedly, you had to step back and give yourself time to calm the eff down?

I know, dumb question. How the hell else do you handle things?

It’s just that I’ve had several moments like that over the last year, so I’m thinking about it. Moments where I was so upset, I really couldn’t think or do anything about the situation. I had to give myself time to calm down. Let my heart rate come down. Let that “I may throw up” feeling stop. I had to wait to deal with it until I wasn’t filled with firey rage just thinking about it.

Okay, that last part may be a bit of an exaggeration. Ha.

But I have to shut down on the situation, until I calm down. It’s not uncommon for me to say “I need time to calm down” or “I can’t talk about it right now,” and it’s not that I’m avoiding it. I just need to be less angry. Then approach it with less emotion involved.

This happened to me Monday, with something work related. I was so shocked I didn’t know whether to cry or throw up. Ugh. I felt horrible.

But I am proud of how I handled it. I didn’t take it out on anyone. I talked to Steven, my snis, and friends for support. I went on a run. I wrote an angry inappropriate blog post and waited until today to publish this (and not the other one). I didn’t binge eat (<—- that’s a big one).

I feel like such an adult.

An angry, screwed over one (who feels slightly better today).

Unrelated photo of our snow dump from Monday night! I was so proud of myself for doing all the snow blowing, even though it looked horrible because the ground was so soft under the snow and dirt flew everywhere.