I’ve been thinking about the first post I wrote about knitting – NOPE. Not a perfectionist. (For now?). Basically, everything I wrote in it turned out to be true – my first washcloth I knitted looked horrible, but showed progress as I moved along. I did stick with knitting and got better at it*. And I HAVE tried to make the things I knit for people** have as few flaws in them as possible. Not “perfect,” but as close as I can get.
I am not results based by any stretch of the imagination, so caring so much about how something turns out is new territory for me. And honestly, I think it’s good for me. Why not care about it, for once?
Ha, that makes me sound like some sort of jerk who never cares about anything. That’s not true! I’m just more process based for things that have a defined completion. Like training for a race, projects at work, or knitting something.
In racing? Eh, I definitely care how the race turns out, but I don’t get upset if things went to crap. I care more about the training and everything that led up to it. That’s where the joy lies, for me.
My job at work is to assist clients with design requirements and how their space will be laid out. But because of the way our divisions are set up at work, the project moves on to someone else and I rarely see the finished space. This has DEFINITELY made me process based, at work! I often have no idea what the results were! We obviously plan toward an ideal result, when working with the client, but not seeing the outcome*** really skews things for me.
And then knitting. I am still surprised I am doing it, because I’m not crafty at all, but I’ve found it’s something, that again, I immensely enjoy the process of. It’s so satisfying to see whatever I am working on “grow,” row by row. Sometimes a project surprises me – the yarn or pattern looks different than I thought it would – and that’s exciting for me. But… I have found that I am thinking about the end result much more than I tend to, compared to other things I work on.
There have been a few mistakes in the baby blanket but I’ve caught them and fixed them! Phew! I really want that to turn out nice (since it’s taking SO DAYUM LONG… and for my new nephew!!!).
I have to fix mistakes as soon as I find them (which is frustrating, but satisfying when it’s done). I have to plan out how much yarn I will need (ugh, planning). I have to figure out how big the thing will be. I have to constantly tell myself “Kim, this is a gift for someone else, and you don’t want a shoddy end-result with your name attached to it. FOCUS!” Ha ha.
Like I said, it’s good for me, just different.
And truthfully, not caring so much about end results before is probably what has kept me from doing crafty things. I know it’s kept me from doing house projects. And, any projects. I spent so much time in college building things with my hands that I have just been OVER it for a loooooong time. I didn’t want to have to think about how things were going to turn out. I didn’t want to be “graded” on it, anymore.
Maybe I am changing!
*still have so much to learn! yay!
**everything I knit – I haven’t made anything for me, yet!
***one of my current projects is not a typical one at all, and I am acting as the project manager instead of designer, so I will get to see how things turn out!
Now you just need to get yourself some tags with Made By Kim on it since you are giving so many of your projects as gifts 🙂
I should! As long as I didn’t have to sew them in, ew. Ha!
This must be a personality thing. I have always been much more results-oriented, a trait that has magnified since I became a runner. I find myself thinking “if you set a goal but don’t care about getting it, then why bother setting the goal?” It’s taken some time for me to understand that that’s not exactly what process-based really means. Understanding the mantra of “focus on the journey, not the result” is a journey in itself but one that has proved worthy of taking on.
Oh yeah, I bet it totally is. And has to do with how we were raised and our experiences and all that. I am often asking myself, “Why even set a goal?” LOL. I have a half on Monday that I am running for fun. I tend to do better without goals. But yeah, totally focus on the journey, especially with racing – it’s huge a huge chunk of it!
I was thinking that I’m process-based before I even got to the part about your job – mine is the same way! I run the entire process of drafting sales proposals, and rarely if ever do I find out if we even win the work! I guess the result for me is just finishing the damn things, not so much win/lose, and finishing it is pretty much inevitable.
That is how I am, too! Ha! Crazy you were thinking that before you got to that point. Do you ever ask if it was awarded to you guys? Sometimes I really wish I knew what happened.
Now I’m trying to think if I’m process versus results oriented! I wonder if I am results oriented because I like seeing the finish product and tend to get annoyed at all the things I have to do to get there. However, I also really like tasks that I can do and then check off. When I worked at the courthouse I actually LOVED having a big pile of filing, actually filing it, and then seeing an empty “in” box! So, maybe I am results oriented!
You probably tend to be results based if you like doing things like that! I know I do. Such satisfaction in filing and organizing 🙂
I am so impressed with that blanket – it’s challenging to keep switching stitches like that, and all too easy to fall into a trance while knitting and keep going with one. Love that you are working so diligently at making it the best you can!
Thank you! One of the mistakes I had to fix was accidentally purling 5 and knitting 5 stitches when it should have been the opposite! LOL
I think it’s great that you’re still knitting. Anything that makes you approach stuff in a different way is cool. It’s like you’re making a new discovery about who you are, or who you could be.
It IS like that! Which I never expected it to be! How cool!!!
I love that pattern! That is one pattern you can’t do with crochet! Keep it up. I am getting back into crochet this week as all my friends babies are due in November/December so I gotta get started!!
Thank you! I want to see your projects that you start!!!!!!!
The way that you’ve taken to knitting is so impressive! Work for me is definitely a combination of process and product. Obviously, teaching is process-focused but when students take standardized tests, then they (and we, the teachers) are measured by the outcome. My hope is that if the process will engage them, then the outcome will demonstrate what they have learned. Fingers crossed!
In my own life, I think that I’m very product-oriented, however, in terms of my triathlon hobby, I focus way more on the process. Maybe that is why I’ve enjoyed it – it takes me away from the results. Even though I’m more than happy when I have a good race and PR, there are often issues to problem solve and deal with, which puts a different spin on the experience.
Watching something grow while knitting is really magical. (And it’s crazy that it’s basically one big piece of yarn just made into loops on loops!) I’m the same way with knitting — I really care about gifted things being perfect even though I just enjoy the process of knitting too. That being said, I’m still a perfectionist about most things in my life, so I guess it’s not really surprising that it spills over into my knitting.
Do you think being more process-based has made you less stressed about things you pursue? I don’t like to race because I think I am afraid of failing and it causes me so much stress!
Oh yeah, it’s totally made me less stressed. We are so different about races! I usually don’t care HOW they turn out! Even if I go in and want to hit a certain pace, if I am off, I am super “whatevs” about it. There is probably some happy medium between us, lol!