Not your typical fluffy FQ!!!
Do you ever feel like you are being judged for how you spend your time? Do you ever catch yourself judging others for how they spend their time?!
Yes and yes.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot, and I hope this post doesn’t come off as offensive, but I’ve gotta say it.
I am young, married, with no children and a somewhat flexible work schedule, and I often find myself feeling that my day is “not my own.” That I don’t get to do what I please, as much as I’d like.
I really think it’s mostly* okay to feel this way sometimes. I’m sure we all have a list of daily “to-dos” that we’re kind of meh about.
But I think that because I fit in a lot of workouts and make time to travel/see my friends/have fun, it appears that I have a ton of free time to do whatever I want. I don’t. I am busy too. Even though I don’t have kids/have to commute every day/only work three jobs/etc., I am a person with a very busy day. And a person who doesn’t know how to relax, and fills up their free time.
Today’s schedule – 5:00 am train to city for run date, study on train ride home, errands, appointments, Fake Meats work, more studying… blah blah blah.
I really liked Jillian’s post earlier this week about making time to workout. Jillian works her arse off at two jobs and still makes the time to exercise. She does seize the day to make it work for her. She doesn’t whine about her lack of free time – she figures it out.
Why am I bringing Jillian’s example up? Well, with how dang busy she is, she is a prime candidate for bemoaning her lack of free time and that of others, and just giving up. But she doesn’t.
And it’s not just about making time for exercise! I’m not that short-sighted, ha ha. It’s about making time for what you need/want. We all have different interests we want to pursue, and thats how it should be.
How it should NOT be is with all the outside judgement of what you do and how much time you spend doing it.** You don’t have to work to be busy. You don’t have to have children. You don’t have to be married. You don’t have to commute. You get the idea!
We’re all in charge of our time, even though we have unwanted obligations in there. Maybe we could focus making our time work for us instead of thinking so much about how others spend theirs?
*I really want to write more about my bad attitude when I’m doing things I don’t want to do, but I’ll have to get in to that another day. This is already too long!
**Unless harmful to your health, making you lose all your money, harmful to others, and so on.
I just shared this on my Facebook wall. I can relate to this more than you know (we can chat more in person)! Thanks for posting, Kim!
Good points! I love, love the last line. I am definitely guilty of judging how people use their time. Mostly, it’s when people complain that they don’t have time to workout or whatnot but might not have children or other demands. I just see that they don’t have another person to be home for (I can’t just throw Miles in the crib and run, e.g.) but I don’t often consider what else they have going on. More than anything, I get jealous of how others spend time and wish I would have used my pre-baby time more wisely. Not that I’d trade it. Nothing beats drinking coffee while your child eats Goldfish in dog pajamas and a lion hat as he watches “Dinosaur Train.”
Do a lot of people judge you for how you spend your time? Do you just feel like they are judging you or do they tell you?
Yes! One of the things that really bothered me about my old company is they only offered a flexible schedule if you had kids. They totally ignored all the other reasons why people may need flexibility in their lives- like a sick parents, going back to school for an advanced degree, health issues. ETC.
I’ma college professor. People think I only work on the days I’m in the classroom. I have actually heard things like, “it must be nice to work only three days a week, etc.” People don’t know about the committee work, the research, the prep work, grading.
I am lucky to have a lot of flexibility. But there is some stress that comes from managing my own time, and from the responsibility of giving grades.
It’s a great gig, but it’s really hard for an outsider to understand and that sometimes frustrates me.
I have to say thank you for this post! I recently got an internship that I am working about 20 hours a week and I am Also managing 20 credit hours. I also workout 5-6 days a week plus homework. I don’t like when my grandma judges me for doing nothing on Saturday because i am so wiped. Kim you shouldn’t let others judgements of your life affect you. You are your own person and a very nice person. Have a great day! 🙂
Definitely. I always appreciate when people benefit from my posts. That is what blogging is all about and we are lucky to have such a great community!
I couldn’t agree more..
I think many of us wish we could have more control over our situations. We have to work, therefore commuting often follows. But those that have a will to
Do what they want find a way. Not always easy but like you said it’s our choice!
There is definitely a lot of judging that surrounds “time” and how each person spends it, from little everyday things (reading blogs vs. NOT finishing the laundry) to lifestyle changes (having kids vs. not). We all get 24 hours in a day, and some of us fill that up with a million things and like to stay busy while some would rather not and just take it easy. It used to bother me when people said “they didn’t have time” to work out or make dinner, and then spend 2 hours watching TV. However, that is where their priorities lie and so according to them, NO, they did not have time because they NEED to watch that show. Just like I NEED to run. We’re all different.
I like the way you put it. Especially by bringing up the TV thing, and how we all view our “needs”!
Oh yes. That is exactly it! It is all about the priorities!
This interview with the marathoner sounds interesting! 🙂