Confession – I totally wrote this post over four years ago. But I have some newer readers now, so I am allowed to post something similar again, right? Maybe I will get different feedback?
When I haven’t seen someone in awhile, and they ask “What’s new with you?” I totally draw a blank. Suddenly, the days that seemed so frantic and busy have left me with nothing to report back on. “Uh, um… you know, just working, working out and helping Steven with Fake Meats!”
Sigh.Â
This is funny to me. I write this blog first* and foremost, so that I have a place to be heard. I don’t always feel like I get to say the things I want to say out loud… so I say it (what I can) here! So you would think when someone asks me what is new, they wouldn’t be able to get me to shut up. But I typically cannot think of anything. Then I end up focusing on some crazy story of a thing that has happened to me lately, and, well, that makes me look crazy.Â
When someone asks “What’s new with you?” do you draw a blank? Do you ask people “What’s new with you?”? Do you ever expect them to report back on certain things?
When it’s someone I don’t know very well, I try to ask a specific question about something we talked about** the last time we were together, rather than “what’s new.” When it’s my close friends, I do ask “what’s new” because chances are, I know what they’ve been up to until that moment. So really, what could be new? Ha ha.Â
But, I’d like to become better at answering this question, and not sounding like a bore. What do people want to hear about?
Food? We’ve been cooking a lot…
Exercise? Doubtful.
My latest puzzle? Ha!
The inevitable, most recent trip to NYC?
This book I started reading that makes me dislike the author?
Data? Now we’re talking…
If I was really good, I would answer the “what’s new” question with something that interests the person asking… which would probably be none of these things. Ha ha ha.
And I realize this post makes me sound like a bad conversationalist. I’m not. I just don’t know how to answer this question. What do people want to hear?!
*And secondly, to make connections and meet new peeps!
**Or I read on their blog recently.Â
I know what you mean. I also give a general answer. I think that question is asked more as a knee-jerk courtesy. Most people don’t really care to know more in detail. Except me of course, I love to hear all about your workouts and puzzles etc. 😀
It depends on the person and the context. In general, I ask people how they are to be polite and feel many do the same with me. If it is someone I know well or haven’t seen in a while, I might get into more detail.
I could write another post about people asking how you are out of courtesy. I wonder what it would be like if everyone answered how they felt at that exact moment to that question! I always ask it too!
That’s a tough question (that I think I’m guilty of asking all the time). I usually say, “A lot,” and throw it back at them. Is that cheating?!?
(That picture of Data is HI-sterical.
Ha ha. No, that is not cheating! That is what I should do!
Steven asked me why I always try to take pictures of Data with his mouth open – because they make me laugh!
look at those guns 😉 data is too funny, at least he keeps life interesting!
I was going to comment on your guns too but I see Britt beat me to it. 🙂
I tend to answer the question with the same old stuff – working, running, etc. unless something major has happened since I saw that person such as buying a house, getting married, etc. which have all happened to me in the past 2 years.
I ask that question to family members sometimes if I am genuinely curious as to what is going on in their lives but can’t think of a specific question to ask. I also ask my running friends that question if we seem to have reached the end of our conversation. It happens sometimes since I run with work buddies several times a week and we exhaust all the topics we discuss.
I totally blank too!!! I think that I think my life is boring so I say “same old same old” most of the time. When in reality I’ve been trying a bunch of new workout classes, going out, signed up for my first triathlon and am planning a Europe trip. So I guess that’s what’s new!
Hee hee! There you go! Keep those things in mind now! 😉
I ALWAYS blank because I don’t know what to say…
I always blank out too, it’s like my brain just totally shuts off. Not cool at all. I love your arms!!! Uh oh, dare I even ask about the book?!?! And of course, Data is too cute!!! Just some “random” thoughts!!
=^..^=
Well, the book is about the author’s relationships with women throughout her life, and a few of them have ended badly, and I can see why. I am not sure I could be friends with her irl!
Why does that book make you dislike the author?
The book is about the author’s relationships, and the things she is revealing about herself makes me think I would not like someone like her irl.
I always respond, “not much”. When in reality I’ve been doing all kinds of stuff, but I guess I don’t want to bore them, most people that ask me that question don’t really know me. Unless it’s a close friend that asks the question, I think they (others not close to me) don’t really want to know, they are just trying to be nice. I often find myself NOT asking them in return how they are, mostly because I don’t know them well, then we’d be on a vicious cycle. (Does that make me sound mean? I’m not mean!)
It doesn’t make you sound mean – it makes you sound logical 😉
Oh yeah, and nice guns!!
I always answer with something generic and boring. Like that it’s the same school/work/I have no life as whenever I last saw the person. But thats entirely untrue. There’s so much stuff going on, especially right now, but I just never think to bring it up.
I never have a good answer for this, so I usually just say “not much.” Which is totes boring. But even last year, when EVERYTHING in my life was new, I couldn’t answer! I kind of think that’s the sort of question that people either a) don’t really want an answer to, or b) who aren’t all that interested in what’s actually going on with me might ask. Because most of my friends and family are pretty up on what’s new with me. And if I think about who actually asks me that, yeah, it’s never anyone I’m that close with.
But I do tend to ask it as a joke, like when I’m visiting with my friends and their new baby or something.
I am totes asking you this on Thursday. Be prepared with an answer!
You do that! But spoiler alert, I actually WILL have something new by then!
I’m with the people who never know if someone is asking this because they are genuinely curious or if they are doing it as courtesy. Plus, I feel like my life is boring! Even now I can’t come up with something that I would say in a hypothetical situation! Maybe mention the latest book I’m reading and ask them if they’ve read it?
I could come up with a lot of things for YOU to answer. Maybe next time, if we are together, you can tell your people to ask me… and I will tell mine to ask you? 😉
I blank and then respond with something like “not much…” total inadvertent conversation ender right there!
My typical response is, “Same shit, different day!” lol Because I know they probably don’t care what’s new with me anyway. It’s just kind of an expression, right? Like “Hey, how are you?” I work in the public, so I really need to break myself of asking that as a standard greeting because too many people think I mean it literally. hahaha I know that makes me sound like a total bitch, but… oh well, if the shoe fits…
I should use that response!
And I think you asking that because you work in the public is kind of how people in the office ask “how are you?” as they are walking by… but don’t care. You know? It doesn’t make you sound like a bitch. We have to be polite!
lol Nice puzzle! Though Leia looks weird from the pic of it. When I say nothing new people look at me like hmm don’t have a life do ya? Nope not at all!
Most of the faces in the puzzle were weird! I was trying to do it w/o looking at the box, but I could not figure out who some of the characters were supposed to be!
that pizza looks amazing 🙂 and I love that you do puzzles.
I feel the SAME way! I always feel like I have so much going on but then when someone asks I am like “Oh work and stuff”. I feel bad talking about my running since that’s the next biggest time consumer besides work and sleep. I try to remember what we talked about last time to ask the person but sometimes its hard. Then when they ask me something specific I feel bad because I didn’t remember something about their life.
I hate it when former students return to visit the school where I work and ask me that because in comparison to their lives – in which everything IS new and they are going off to exciting places and doing interesting things – my life really is pretty boring. And I’m okay with that dynamic, but I often feel pretty lame.
Wow, this is perfect timing – I actually just found your blog looking for people who have done the iChallenge race, and figured out looking through your race recaps that you’re local-ish to me. I’m quite a bit slower than you are though, but I’m working on it!
Oh cool! Which version of the challenge are you thinking about doing? Are you out in the suburbs too? 🙂
It would be the 5K/Half, but my husband and I are doing the Lincoln presidential a few weeks earlier so not sure another trip will be in the cards unfortunately! I was curious about them though.
We’re out in Vernon Hills! I actually did the Long Grove 8K in November but despite how close we are that seems to be our only race in common so far!
Ooo, is the Lincoln race the one with that SWEET penny medal?! That is going to be awesome! I did hear that hotels were already sold out for the I-Challenge.
I am surprised that is our only race in common! Do you have any other local ones on the radar this year?
haha I usually say – “not much…workin’, runnin’…” because that’s literally all I do these days!
I do see it as being a courtesy question though, like “how are you doing?”. I hate when some people actually think I really care how they are doing. 🙂
LOL!
I usually answer, “not too much. Kids are good. Husband and I are good. What’s new with you?” It’s hard to answer such a generic question!
I usually only respond with “running a lot” because that takes up a lot of my time!
your pony tail in the exercise picture is intense, like a sumo-wressler! i completely mean that as a compliment, from on top-of-the-head pony-tail-wearer to another 🙂
HA HA HA! Yeah, I have to channel my inner sumo guy. Tee hee. For some reason, I dig wearing it there now 🙂
I also usually say “Not Much” or work… I want to hear about Cooking, Puzzles, NYC & Data when I ask you!
I always draw a blank when someone asks me that question! My response is usually something along the lines of “busy at work… running…” I do ask it back though, but then conversation stalls right there. A more specific question would be better, I really should work on that…
Love the picture of your cat too!