I recently read a Women’s Health article (read it here) with some very interesting insights on happiness. I am always interested in reading articles/books on happiness. That’s my biggest life goal – to be generally happy.
This post got really long, so I am going to do another post later today listing what has been making me happy lately!
Basically, the article said that psychologists categorize happiness in to two types, below (their direct words in quotes):
- Moment-to-moment happiness – which comes from the “small spurts of joy you get from everyday occurrences,” like getting a compliment or seeing a friend for lunch. According to the article, “quantity trumps quality when it comes to happiness,” and these small daily occurrences are what balance out life’s lows. “All you have to do is notice and appreciate them.”
- Reflective happiness – the deep satisfaction you get when you examine your life as a whole and are happy with the direction it’s going.
The article had four recommendations for boosting happiness:
- Have an attitude of gratitude
- Banish the comparisons
- Find meaning in your work
- Hang with happy people
Reading this article, two parts stuck out to me the most. The first is that “scientists say each of us is born with our own happiness set point.” I definitely believe that! And the second is that “happy people take pleasure in the successes of other people rather than using those successes as a yardstick to measure their own lives.” Then it went on to say you should not compare yourself to others, but also not abandon your goals – just run at your own pace.
I cannot agree with this last part more. Seeing my friends happy makes me happy. Their accomplishments make me feel proud. At the same time, I feel their struggles, sadness and frustration.
Holly recently posted about something similar – a Facebook friend who posted her workouts, until she took them down because people were calling her exercise obsessed and saying they felt like she was bragging. Seeing/reading the friend’s workouts would make me feel motivated (and hopefully if I knew her well enough I would say something if I thought she did have an exercise issue) and I would feel happy for her. But other people apparently didn’t. It is a little bit different of a situation, but I think it’s worth mentioning.
What do you think about the points from the article? Do you think people have different happiness set points? Are you able to take pleasure in other people’s successes, or do you struggle with self comparison?
(the quote is a joke guys (family), don’t freak out!)
I find that the older I get, the less I compare myself to others, and the more I can be genuinely happy for their successes without feeling “less than.” I completely agree with you – being a generally happy person is so important to me!
I do think you are a happy person, Kim, at least, that is my feeling from your blogging!
It surprises me when people have a hard time being happy for other people – I am always really pleased when good things happen to my friends, and it doesn’t make me feel “less than”. But obviously not everyone is like that! I remember being really shocked one time when a good friend told me she was jealous of the trips to the US that I take to visit my family – so much so that she didn’t want me to talk about them to her! Weird, huh?
Thank you Amy 🙂
I do think that is quite weird. But I have to appreciate that she was honest with you, rather than being a snot when you told her about the trips! Maybe that would have made it worse?
Me? I LOVE to hear about people’s travels! Sure, I wish I could go, but I might as well relive it through them!
I have a hard time not comparing myself to others, even though I am a generally confident person. For thr most part, I am okay with being a slow runner who only does sprint tri’s, but at the same time, I read about others who do so much more and I feel like I don’t do enough. Balance is a fine line! I am finding that you can’t just “want” to be happy…you have to choose to be happy and work at it, you know. It is so easy to be unhappy; being happy is much more difficult…but so much more satisfying.
You know, I bet there are people out there who compare themselves to you! You work two jobs and can do so much athletically, and, you seem to always be having fun! 😉
I agree with Bobbi – it’s taken me some time to be truly happy for some friends’ successes without feeling a twinge of envy.
I think that some people do have different happiness set points– I see some people constantly trying to improve/have fun/do what they need to do to get happy, while others it seems like it comes more naturally. Only in the past year or two do I feel like I don’t have to “work” at being happy too much.
I certainly still do work on things — e.g. decluttering, new running/athletic goals, eating healthfully, but I don’t feel quite so down about the fact that I might not be at the ideal right now.
Ha ha, I like the George Burns quote. 🙂
Yes, I am very bad about comparing myself to others. The really wacky thing is I can think of a few examples where I feel someone has “accomplished” more than I have, but I wouldn’t necessarily say they are happier. That realization has helped me work through those issues a little.
And funny that you mention the workouts. I post mine through Dailymile on Facebook, and I never put my pace up because I am so scared people will be making fun of me in their mind. I need to get over that. :/
Yeah, I doubt anyone would make fun of you in their mind! They will probably just think, “I wish I could do that!”
Wow. I agree 110% on all of those points in the article. And really I’m just discovering that as a grown adult…I wish I would have known that in my younger years!
I have struggled with comparison for QUITE some time….not just “oh, they have this” and “I have that,” but more with accomplishments people make and where they are in life versus where I am. That’s why number one on that list has been so important to me….it’s really hard to compare yourself to others when you are incredibly thankful for what you have in your life. Oh, and thanks for the shout out, too!
seeing your smiling face in all those pictures puts a smile on my face!
Aww, thanks 🙂
I definitely agree with number 4 on that list. If you hang out with people who make you feel good as opposed to bring you down I think that just gives your whole life a positive vibe. I also like that the article says that the moment-to-moment happiness is good for you. Sometimes I think society focuses too much on the “overall” happiness factor when it’s really okay to find joy in the small things.
I’m freaking out!
About what?
I love your quote (the last one) it made me laugh, thanks