Well, I am back in Ames. And what exactly does that mean? It means my internet signal sucks, I am surrounded by thousands of college students, and I miss Steven… but it also means I am about to begin another exciting school year! Okay, I tried to make that sounds as positive as possible, but I don’t think it worked. I am trying to ease the transition from summer to school by preparing everything for class and getting the apartment set up, but I still think my mind set will be all messed up for at least a few days. I was hoping that by my fourth year of college I would be used to starting school all over again, but I am not.
It isn’t that I dread class. I am actually at the stage in my scholastic career that I am choosing most of the classes I am taking. It is liberating to be able to choose your schedule this way, because I get to take the classes that I think will best compliment and advance my knowledge and skill set. So, if I end up not liking a class, it is my own fault. There is just this factor of control that you have to give up to be a successful student. You have to accept that you will receive assignments out of the blue and have to drop plans. You have to accept that you won’t get to talk to your fiance or family on the phone very much because you can’t do that and work at the same time. And the hardest part, you will have to accept that you will pretend the outside world doesn’t exist so you can focus on your work. When I am in school, I seriously lose track of what is going on around me – the news, current movies, even the weather. It is not because I don’t care, but because I am trying so hard to stay focused. And that is what I dread about going back to school – losing that little factor of control, not being able to decide when and where I will do things without considering a zillion other school related projects first. If it is something I am passionate about, it feels right to drop everything for one project, but if it isn’t, then I have the hardest time finding that passion.
Last spring semester was the first time I really felt a passion to work on a project. It is sort of embarrassing to admit that it took so long, but it is true. My instructor was a wonderful guest lecturer from NYC, and she was very compassionate, caring and encouraging… traits missing in a few of the other instructors. I didn’t learn so much about technique that semester, but I learned how to love a project and put my soul into it – I don’t know if it would have happened without her support and encouragement. What is important is that I learned how to make a design challenge intrigue me. I learned how to put a spin on it to feed my own creative drive. I hope to find that again this semester because I think it will help with the transition. I’ll find out soon enough.
